Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Diversification Ain't Just for Portfolios Anymore

One stop shopping!


Look here: If the Cheese Truck came grunting up the street, you sure as heck'd chase after it. Don't be telling me any different. I don't care if it was the Chocolate Jimmies Truck or the Messianic Products Truck or the Patriotic Accessories Truck or the Awkward Moments Truck or the Truck your Aunt Arquilla was giving you for upsetting the Shuck Bowl -- coming down the other side of the street -- you'd be out chasing that Cheese Truck. It's part of what I'd term "Calisthenics" or, if you will, and I know you will, the Diversification of Your Portfolio. Have you heard somebody start a sentence, "Anymore..." anymore? Have you heard anyone claim that Bibim Bop was Korean Jazz? How can a man be both a celebrated actor and a deodorant? I dunno. See: Mitchum. Personally, I couldn't help but think of Mitchum, the guy, if I were applying Mitchum roll-on. It's why Blood And Gutstein endorses Speed Stick. Musk. AwwwwwYeah.

There is a world of difference between Musk and Must. Ask an elephant. He could use the former, in his every day, and he comes charging down, out of the mountains, when he is In Thrall to the latter, and when that happens, all the other elephants scatter -- except one of the gals. Former // Latter. Doesn't that drive you Barmy? Which is not my word. No, I picked it up, like a bad habit, in Charm City. I want to say, "I ride the train." So I will: "I ride the train." There are other men who wish to say, "I ride the bus" or "I ride the twos and fros of my biorhythms" or "I ride the whims of society's thrillseeking" or "I ride the political currents like the wimp I am" or "Somebody stole my milk money" and to them, I would say: Diversify. Chase the Cheese Truck & ride the train. Apply the Musk & ride the whims of society's thrillseeking. And if you can, seek out Robert Mitchum's most celebrated flick, DIP IN ROAD. He played the Dip. The road played itself. Yeeup.

1 comment:

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

DIP IN ROAD -- is, really, a Johnny Hart title. As in, B.C. Praps to be featured in a future BAG. ----BA