Wednesday, April 23, 2008

"Up, Up, Up, Up -- AAAH!"

The Big Yellow Up Arrow: Sign of a Healthy Universe?


The Dictionary defines "Recession" as an indent, a hairline, a tide, and a greensward where European schoolchildren used to play with rubber balls before a Pogrom. Oh, and there's a word or two about The Economy. In that, it must contract for a while in order to be considered a Recession. For two Quarters, to be exact. Thus, at halftime, with your team, "The Economy," down by 12 points, Yes, then, it's time to float-about the "R" word, especially if, up until then, The Economy has been having a winning season. Speaking of teams, and names -- it might be more fearsome for The Yankees, let's say, to go on the road and face The Recession. Or The Depression. Or The Dustbowl. Or The Layoffs. Or The Foreclosure. Or The Rate Cuts. Why do we insist on all these potentially offensive American Indian references -- Braves, Chiefs, Redskins, etc. -- when, instead, The Yankees could lose 3 out of 4 to The Vacancy? Or to The New Deal?

I once knew a guy named Charles Osbourne the 2nd. Or, if you will, C-O-2. He was funny. He was a gas. Although he was Not Noble and he was Not Inert. He always had a fever and threatened to "take" karate. Take it where? I would ask myself. To the movies? To the park? TO THA STREETS? Question: Is it a Fool who is a Dolt or is it a Fool who fools us? Our Great Country of the Ponzi Schemes and Venison Stew. Our Great Country of the Airplane Growling above the Nature Preserve. Our Great Country of the Televised Calisthenics and Cholesterol Mishap(s). Say "perchance" if you must say "perchance." Say "per annum" if you must say "per annum." Say "periodontist" if you've got them nasty molars. Question: Is it a Fool who is a Dolt or is it a Fool who fools us? Answer: Think of a fish. Who is both a Fool (Dolt) and a Fool (Trickster). Note: I said nothing about Politics. That, my friend, is your worried mind re-booting. As well it should.

7 comments:

mark wallace said...

Or The Gallon of Gas. Fear The Gallon of Gas.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I mean, in all seriousness, fear the econo-political complex that relies on the gallon of gas and that offers no alternatives to the gallon of gas. Other than that, though, I still fear the spider more than anything else. Big hairy spiders and little hairy spiders. They all suck. ----BA

Mira said...

Tee hee. Mira

mark wallace said...

Sure, but the Spider in the SUV is still afraid of the Gallon of Gas.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Oh, I fear the spider. And if the spider fears the gallon of gas, then I fear what the spider fears. ----BA

DUSIE said...

halo hello herr gutstein!!! i shall lk for yr bookie!!!!!!!!! congrats...

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

hallo dusie -- thanky -- will let all know when said livre de poche is avail. until then cheers & beers in the british fashion ----BA