Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Dearth, Incorporated

Grand Theft Downpour.


Behold the Drought. It loiters and we forget. We engage in abominations while the Drought endures. The rains must come if the rains don't come. If the rains don't come the rains must come. You know the rest. The cucumbers parch beside the heirlooms. The vegetarian goes without. He must sample a little turkey, instead. He must chew a little tender, juicy bird. Behold the Drought. The lip of it to the north of Danville, Va., amongst all the Danville Gals. A beachhead to the west of Ocean City, N.J., amongst all the Danville Gals. It loiters, the Drought, and we forget. We water our crabrass. Nudge our grabass. Bed down beside our false idols. The Neo-Stoics postulate that water, itself, thirsts, and assert the stratagem. The rains must come if the rains don't come. If the rains don't come the rains must come. Shortages is Shortages. That's the plan. "For sayings you are, and unto sayings shall you return." We engage in abominations while the Drought endures: Senator, Senator, Senator, Senator & Co.

14 comments:

mark wallace said...

Voluntary Water Rationing here may soon become Mandatory Water Rationing. Yet I myself do not fear The End of the Lawn nearly as much as The End of the Water.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Voluntary Water Rationing. I mean what is that? Why even take that step. That's like saying -- we kindly ask you not to eat Doritos. When there should be, instead, Mandatory Doritos Rationing. Eh? ----BA

mark wallace said...

Well, VWR is working okay here at my place, at least. It works almost as well as Voluntary Tequila Shot.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

If it gets to be Extreme Doritos Shortage, followed by Extreme Lawn Disappearance, then it may be Emergency Tequila Shot, like, all day long. Pray to the cloud that it spill its bounty! ----BA

mark wallace said...

I resemble that remark.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

"And the wind cried ..... tequila!" ----BA

mark wallace said...

"What do you mean they have no water? Let them drink tequila."

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

"Snortin' whiskay; drinkin' co-caine." ----Pat Travers. (Boom boom. Out go the lights!)

DUSIE said...

why are you listed under 'in memoriam' on Raworth's page? that just freaked me out!!! Hope all is well....no drought at all here...

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Alive and well, thanks. Although now with me being listed as passed away, perhaps someone will start publishing my ****ing books.

DUSIE DUSIE Do -- which of your blogs should you like me to link to?

Blood And

Marcela said...

well, whatever you do, stay out of your fridge. The freakin wine experts on NPR today say that the winds that sweep through the steppes of the fridge are dry, dry, dry.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

(N)ational (P)retentious (R)adio say what? If we get enough storms this year, I heard that the X storm is Hurricane Xerox. It'll duplicate the path of the storm that came before. Whirred. ----BA

DUSIE said...

hey "blood and", the comments with you and mark are nearly better than the blog entries (nearly) I say that carefully, mark is like the guest blogger via the comments...it is really all about the comments, really, the side-remarks, and quiet gestures... oh I live at micawberesque mainly...

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Thanks, Dusie. Mark and I are, collectively, The Game. In the absence of others, we are, in fact, the only one in town. I do kid thee. ----BA