Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Loss of Beatitude

"Here's lookin' at you, Freezerface!"


Remnants are a loom product and Remnants are the exhaust of a dead storm and Remnants are the hours we typically devote to anxious pontifications or subdued debauchery. Doctors have performed the first Beatific Smile Transplant in history by removing the Beatific Smile from the Arse of a Mr. [censored], and attaching it, bravely, to another man's countenance, thereby restoring Beatific Smile to a second Mr. [censored], who'd suffered Loss of Beatitude. Ah, the tilt of the beret. The receipt of cultural information. It must be Academe, you know, written exams, oral exams, digital exams. Did a dog once Retrieve the entire land mass of Labrador? Rote chores or wrote choirs. To fool the I, to fool the Oeil, trump, trompe, chump, chomp. To attain the rank of Middle Manager is to develop skill sets in correlation with long term goals, or, how to serve that lunchmeat, Inertia, with a side order of Props. Habitat is where your Habit is At. Don't be all, like, up in my face with this "Boers 'n' the Commuter Rail" nonsense because I espied those wild Boers, and heard their "kookete kookete kookete" who says "kookete kookete kookete" anyhow or were those the blooming railroad wheels bracketing toward the municipality of Halethorpe and its adult video landfill? Oh, Sameness of Waterfront Errants, Oh, Every Culture and Its Gravy, Oh, Whap Whap Kneady Jones. To "Whopper the Colonel" is to deliver, yes, a Flame Broiled Burger to a ranking officer, and to deliver a Bent Truth, i.e., Angled Artifice the size of, say, a Dirigable, to a ranking officer, kookete kookete kookete.

32 comments:

tmorange said...

your habit is lunchmeat, dog. ranking artifice with an angled tilt and a side of information, chomp chomp, it's a loom, chump chump, it's another man's arse, you know, like they serve it up in wasilla. a dirigible is all cake, a smile in the traffic factory. we exhaust hours typically devoted to barking fifths and basted fifths. i said knock knock and heard bracketing in a manger. perform the sensorific smile transplant on who says goo goo g'joob is good as dead. deliver my bent whopper, that gravy is longterm skills management for the count of labrador. ranked to a flake. countenance those crimes before removing them from the arse of history.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Another Theoretical Knock Out aka TKO! ----BA

RITA said...

So, does this mean that if you put lipstick on lunchmeat, it's still lunchmeat?

Mmmmm, lunchmeat.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Why does the blackbird walk about the feet of our politicians? Huzzah. ----BA

RITA said...

Rita dunno. Rita only pawn in game of life. But what I do know is that blackbird & cabbage that I had for dinner, last night, sure was yummy--

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Mongo from Blazing Saddles! Amazing, man. The beans scene is still tops, in my book. ----BA

mark wallace said...

I myself am too overloaded with Props to even get to the lunchmeat. And I'm telling you: Props taste like Cardboard, and The Future is Cardboard.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

There are many Futures, including a black hole that those idiots in Switzerland are creating in that supercollider, but yeah, here are the Futures as I see them: Cardboard, Manmade Black Hole, Lunchmeats. There's nothing else, not in this country. ----BA

mark wallace said...

And here I can't even get to the lunchmeats, which from where I'm sitting sound pretty damn tasty.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

The ultimate Lunchmeats is salami, in my opinion. There are no greater Lunchmeats than salami. ----BA

RITA said...

Everything is a Lunchmeat.

But the best one of all, by far, and take it from me, Rita, that the best Lunchmeat of all is olive loaf. Anything with "loaf" in it rocks.

The World is Loaves.

mark wallace said...

You have clearly never had the Foster's Farms Turkey Variety Pack. Five different kinds of turkey in one pack. Who knew there were that many kinds of turkey? Clearly, we are already living in the Lunchmeat Future. Not that I can get there from here.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

You mean, five different turkeys or five different parts of the turkey? You mean, like, a Three Bean Salad kind of dealie? ----BA

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

As for "loaves" -- you just stop right there, RITA. Don't even go there. ----BA

mark wallace said...

Turkey Ham, Turkey Salami, Turkey Bologna, etc, in one pack.

sausages said...

Take it from me: Turkey is gross.

mark wallace said...

And there's even Turkey Sausages.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I think that one can purchase an Uncle Abe's Turkey Venison Kit. I'm not kidding. He's not my Uncle Abe although I have many Uncle Abes. ----BA

sausages said...

Why does it need a kit? Now THAT is gross. Like Chef Boyardee Pizza Kit, or somethin' ...a kit...

Get the kit!

mark wallace said...

"Not for him a pizza. He was the kind of guy who needed a Pizza Kit."

sausages said...

Hey -- how 'bout a Bratwurst Kit?

http://www.bratwurstmuseum.net/

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I think you assemble a replica Turkey Venison, with the kit. Then you display it, like a model airplane. It proves that you can glue together replica Lunchmeats. ----BA

mark wallace said...

Glue on lunchmeat: tasty.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Lunchmeats is Replica to begin with and then you have Replica Lunchmeats which is Carboard. So you see the problem there, which is a problem of Futures. Bad ones. ----BA

tmorange said...

btw, that should read "barking fifths and basted FISTS." or vice-versa, doesn't really matter. oh, and "removing them from the SAUCE of history." brown sauce i bleev.

speaking of lunchmeat, is souse perhaps the grossest of the gross?

(definitely do NOT ask the pizza guy! that's right, puttynose.)

tmorange said...

souse mask replica, the landmark recording from captain beefsteak and his magic band...

tmorange said...

sorry: captain bleatbelt and his magic sausages.

tmorange said...

sausages, do we need to get you some kind of a kit or something?

tmorange said...

uncle abe makes a wide variety of sausage making kits...

i'll stop now.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Tom, "Publish Your Comment, Orange.

I wasn't kidding about them Uncle Abe's kits. That Uncle Abe is different than my Uncles Abe. Uncles Abe or Uncle Abes? Who knows. My Uncles Abe were in, like, The Carpet Rackets.

DG

sausages said...

Along TKO's line-of-thought:

The Famous Souse? Ain't that a whiskey...

This is, I believe, the longest thread of comments on Blood And.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

A souse is Lunchmeats in more ways than one. Yes, this string is breaking records and records breaking. Keep it up. ----BA