Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Signs & Symbols

Bend over to sniff perpendicular shark bubbles?


Do you think that Basques ever made Bisques? I know this: Had they ever cooked a jiffy pancake they'd've called the mix BasQuick. If you've been hearing the same goat again and again, then clearly you need Bas Relief. Speaking of which, it may come to pass that all Americans will soon be eligible for Relief. Defined, to each, in his or her own way, of course. Some of us may need money kind of relief; some of us may need spell-you kind of relief; yet others will wish to enter An Era of Regularity, no doubt. Kind of like The Era of Good Feelings except I'd characterize the Feelings as, well, "dependable" and "right on schedule" as opposed to "amicable" and "of orotund fraternization". Keep Dreaming. i.e., That bus is always late. Never not. In the meantime, we'll have to consider the Current State of American Signage versus The Signage That Could Be. For instance, I'd like many signs erected that might warn: Imminent Risk of Dumbass. Or: Imminent Risk, Dumbass. Instead, all we're told is, "It's a quarter mile to the next McNugget", that famous be-breaded Scottish chicken chunk.

15 comments:

The Sexist said...

where might one find these shark bubbles?

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

on plywood, apparently. -----ba

tmorange said...

basquiat dished up his mix jiffy quick!

Loren said...

shark bubbles are a symptom of the aquatic strain of goose pimples...if i remember correctly...

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I guess for those fans of the Old Timey in the world, there will now be Bisgradual, Bisdawdling, and Bislinger brand of biscuitry. ------------------BA

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

The goose pimples, you mean. Shark bubbles are a sort of "inner gaseous" pimple. Or so the sign forbodes. -------------BA

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Shoot, I mean, the The Goose Pimples. ------BA

tmorange said...

reverse signage nugget = dumbass tho i had a biscuit or a regular scottish fraternization chunk. rilke takes many immanent risks. for relief speak of a jiffy goat, you may need a schedule of feelings opposed to the meantime: i'd schedule it clockwise cuz baghdad has been downgraded to a pimple.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

rilke, man. rilk-UH. the same people who are voting for rilke are "exploring their psychology in brave new ways." i mean RILK-uh. (1) buy flower. (2) place in hair. (3) say "rilk-UH." you know? -----------------------ba

RITA said...

Isn't that the sign on the door of Larry Craig's senate office?

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

no it's not. there is nothing in that sign that suggests "a wide stance". ---------------------ba

mark wallace said...

I'm just basquing in the afterglow.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Each basquing in his or her own glory? Whatever happened to that type of glory? It's gotten mixed up with cramps, or horror tales, or ineptitude. ----------BA

RITA said...

...or constipation.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

thank you. our editors will respond to that potent-iality in the next few years. -------ba