Thursday, December 18, 2008

Whirreds to the Whys

When Creme Is Not Enough


The new defibrillators restart the heart and uncover the lies, as well. You can't expect to suffer a heart malady and conceal an untruth any longer. The World War II era Germans considered -- briefly -- world domination of breakfast foods, almost naming their secret police the Waffles S.S. Pancakes everywhere shivered in their griddles, but for a typo, some shivered in their girdles, some women found petrified toastcakes in their bloomers. Lord forbid a greater typo -- the girdle cake -- but why not offer shortstacks in the stacks? Pancakes amidst the musty volumes, as it were, if only our librarian entrepreneurs showed some spine. Why is it such a big deal to sell a seat, I've sold a chair, I've bought a chair, I'm a chairman, in that I seat myself, I chair, I prefer to swivel or recline. A charwoman, on the other hand, cleans the flue, proving that there's a fine line between sitting and dirty politics, Mr. Blog Goy of Itch, Mr. Income Bent. Cherub dub dub, three angels in a tub, or rhymes you'll never hear again, and never did. Saying "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" is like saying "The Grime of the Ancient Grammarian" or "The Lime of the Ancient Librarian." Speaking of which, Citrus is the greatest marketing device since The Great Diversification. I mean, GM, Ford, and Chrysler have been selling Lemons, successfully, for years. Barnum & Bailey considered -- briefly -- running a Citrus instead of a Circus, no rings but rinds, instead, causing Lion Tamers and Loin Teamsters, alike, to shiver in their bouts. With regard to bouts, had the Poultry rumbled with the Samoyeds, you'd've then had the Chickens on the Spitz, whereas true Hybridity is an inebriated wedded woman, a wet dame, so to squeak.

8 comments:

sausages said...

Bread & sugar-- 's all I got to say.

RITA said...

Where's Bruce Babbitt when we need him-- ??

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I mean, why resist? To spread sugar on bread seems crazy when you could have a pancake instead (nee toastcake).

----------------BA

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Bruce Babbitt? BRUCE Babbitt? Bruce BABBITT? Silly Babbitt. Governing's for Crooks!

--------------------------BA

mark wallace said...

Toast cakes? Whaddya tawkin', toast cakes? That's only in Escondido at the City Centre grill, which is not in the center of Escondido, which is not a city. Are any of you in Escondido? Are you even in an Escondido of the Mind?

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

There is Escondido and there is Little Else. You're either in one place or the other, unless you are eating Toast Cakes, in which case there are portions, you are nobody's honey, and you must pay at the counter. ----------------------------------------BA

mark wallace said...

Currently I'm hanging my hat in Little Else, with digs right across the street from the Texaco.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I know them Texacans -- their neighborhoods got that snow, got that fruit above the doorways, got them dudes shouting in the middle of the street. I know them Texacans. ---------------------BA