Thursday, January 15, 2009

Skeletons to the Right

I guess the closet is full.


The floundering economy has necessitated cutbacks that, already, have taken the dignity away from Great American Traditions such as Skeleton Return. Pretty soon we'll see Skeleton Reform, and after that, you'll just see despondent Bags o' Bone sitting in the park, drinking they Deuce Deuce, steam rising off their skulls in brassy, reedy fog. In any event, Skeletons are at their boniest since the Great Depression, when New Deal Skeletons were more calcified than a nice big cuppa Dustbowl. Postmodern Skeletons, on the other hand, Extrapolate, in that, they practice corporeal punishment with their little ones. They conflate and intertextualize. If they rebate, then they masturbate twice. One can bait his breath, if he means to trick his respirations. The Skeleton, however, means to trick his expirations. To whit, the Skeleton can achieve separation, should he become disconnected from his expiration, but that's a ghost story -- the Skeleton bouncing down dark alleyways, with his expiration in pursuit. Sometimes, a Special Officer, i.e., one who can demonstrate either a pulse or an I.Q., is called in, to corral said Skeleton, kick him around, and reunite him, all so vividly, with his expiration. We are Structure, and we are Weakening. If we scream "Jackass!", do we mean another, or are we identifying ourselves? We are Language and we are Debt. In that, we lease our Skeletons from the Landlord, the Earth, its doors to the right, its closets, its walkup duplex with berber carpeting and a riverview.

24 comments:

mark wallace said...

William Faulkner believed that a fifth of whiskey before breakfast was good for the skeleton.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I heard that William Faulkner perished from a fifth of whisky before breakfast. True? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BA

Severn Williams said...

Danny! What's up my friend? It's been a long, long time. How are you? Life in CA is good. What can I say in a short note like this? Not too much, but it would be fun to recconect. I'm at sev@sevwilliams.com. I hope you email me.

mark wallace said...

I wonder whether a raw foods health diet is good for the skeleton, especially for those of us who perhaps have not grown up in dietary conscious family situations.

sausages said...

I'm not sure, with a name like Sausages, if I'm really qualified to answer that. Perhaps someone else could illuminate--

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Kindle the candlepower! -------------------------------------------------------------BA

RITA said...

Not sure if this helps markwallace w/ his inquiry, but studies have shown that just going 2 whenever/wherever you need to, not waiting to get to a toilet, can be good for the skeleton. A comfortable, cushiony setting is recommended--

Mira said...

We are Debt, for sure. Mira

mark wallace said...

Rita, thanks for your Class A advice.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Boomlay boomlay boomlay BOOMER. ----------------------------------------------------------------------BA

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Sev, there's a jump blues song by Morris Lane -- a guy who played in the 40s and 50s -- titled "The Return of B.O. Plenty", which refers, I think, to a character in a Dick Tracy comic. In any event, I was listening to that song when I read your comment, and I couldn't remember your middle initial, if you've got one! In any event, it's the Return of Sev Williams. It's been 20 years or so. Time gallops! -----------------------------------B.A. Plenty

mark wallace said...

Don't they usually say times flies... as if you'd picked it up and hurled it out a window or something.

RITA said...

That is truly profound, markwallace. I will ponder on that while I pound another tallboy and consider by the light of the snowy flickering of me lil' 13" black & white TV...

sausages said...

Return of Pittsnogle:

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/blog/the_dagger/post/Finally-an-answer-to-Whatever-happened-to-Kevi?urn=ncaab,134910

Oh boy--

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

"Get that Pittsnogle outta here!" --------------BA

sausages said...

That's what my lungs look like--
Pittsnogle--from years of smoking. I keep the gunk in a jar to remind me.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Right beside a suitcase of Budweiser tallboys, eh?

What happens when a station goes off the air? Snow? The star spangled banner?

-----------BA

mark wallace said...

What do all you people, live in a Boomtown or somethin'?

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

did you see that Vachel Lindsay quote, above?

boomlay boomlay boomlay BOOMER.

the boom of the Class A; that's all i know at the moment.

-------BA

RITA said...

Last time I killed a suitcase o' Budweiser tallboys, I took a sh*t that looked as black as King Kong's finger--

sausages said...

The star-spangled banner always comes before the snow. I learned that after coming home late one night after a long night of pounding Piels in a strip mall parking lot--

Man, the Eagles really sh*t the bed today, eh??

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

oy. i'm a dead man. but laughing all the way to the ... northwest corner of the king sized bed. ahahahah. ------------------------------------------------------------------------BA

mark wallace said...

Beware of ghoulies, ghosties, and things that go boom in the night.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

No, man. Beware of things that do NOT go boom. -----------------------------------------------BA