Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Coq au Vindaloon

Les Garçonz 'n' le Quartier


If French scientists can change a hen into a rooster then why can't American scientists change the economy into an economy? It'd be risky. We could, afterall, wind up with a fowl worth negative $3,000,000,000,000, and counting. History is full of transformations. Swords have been beaten into Ploughshares, a Chechen Bird o' Prey has decloaked over the Kremlin, and Water has been turned into Wine, down in the Land of Canaan, at the House of Babel. There isn't just water, there is water on top of water, some water needs to be on top and some water needs to be on the bottom, there isn't just water, water is very sexy. It used to be one could wave a Cheeseburger and a Marijuana Cigarette at just about any problem, and the problem would go away. These days, and when I say "these days", I mean, yes, I, too, throw fistfulls of I Owe Youze into the air, it might have to be a VeggieBurger, and the Marijuana couldn't be Marijuana, it'd have to be Medicinal. Judaism, by the way, can now be purchased in the bulkfoods aisle at Fresh Fields. You can find it next to the dried mango, and for the same price, $10.99 per pound, although it's on sale this week, or just mark down the code for "Student Mix" and you can get Judaism for $3.49 per pound. Judaism and Student Mix -- apparently -- are like twins separated at birth, the cashiers and baggers, alike, cannot tell them apart. O, whadda we have to do, These Days, and when I say These Days, I mean, yes, I, too, muck my aces for no defensible reason, whadda we have to do? Well, we must be Vigilant, for one, we must light candles and let the curtains flutter in the spritely spring kissing wind. After all, one minute we might be laying an egg, and the next minute, we might be crowing -- for broke -- at the bright horizon.

16 comments:

mark wallace said...

Can't have spring without first having Mud Season. I think Mud Season is available in the Student Mix.

Anonymous said...

Kinniptions! Gina

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Agreed: Kinniptions. ----------------------------------------BA

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Student Mix is many things; it is Judaism Replica, bas relief, and, yes, Mud Season. Mostly, though, Student Mix is $3.49/lb., meaning, I save about $7.50/lb. when I purchase dried mango. -----------------------------------------------------------BA

mark wallace said...

Can't have Mud Season without Mud Bock. In about three hours, I'll be taking my own advice on that. In the meantime I'm low on Student Mix but up to the ears in Meeting Crunch.

sausages said...

The problem began when some jackass decided that it would be funny to slip the economy a rufee. Problem is, no one's tawkin' slippin' the economy a couple-a Viagra -- till then, th'ain't gonna be no sale on Kinniptions, that's for sure --

Alas, I'm still walkin' in a Winter Ale Wonderland. A/V SUCKS! Down with Sweetervest --

mark wallace said...

And I am now officially taking my own advice. Buzzsaw Brown, a classic northwestern Mud Bock. Mud Season at its finest.

sausages said...

Sam Smith's Winter Ale for me -- then, let the spring begin ...

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I, myself, have had Dr. Taubin's Antibiotic Ale. A fine brew, with a slightly medicinal aftertaste. Cleans you out! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BA

Anonymous said...

DAVE is in histerics over your blog. DAVE. The other AV ades are crowing at the bright horizen. Gina

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Gina, are the other A/V aides (1) Student Mix; (2) Kinniptions; (3) Judaism; (4) Histerics; or (5) Mud Season? ------------------------------------------------BA

Anonymous said...

Most of the other A/V aides are all five, excpet one or two of them are note Jewish. Gina

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I tried to get mango at Freshfields for the Student Mix price but the checkout lady knew the mango code by heart and I did not save $7.50 on dried mango slices, dern it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ba

Mira said...

Tee hee. Mira

Doug said...

can I get some solid white albacore Judaism in water? cuz Jesus was white and I am special

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

you can get you some chunk light judaism but i have no opinion on jeebus, he may have been white as in ghost or white as in scairt or white as in old & feeblish, but he whuddnt no albino core, if that's whatcher getting at. Indeed, it ain't tuna but catfish, at that bend in the river jordan. you know, where they sell them ice cream sammitches. ----------------------------------------------------------------------ba