Wednesday, May 13, 2009

TAKEOUT BAKEOUT.

Think "Textiles" When You Crave a Doobie.


Say "Drugs" to "No" and "Narcotics" to "Nah" and "Dope" to "Nope." What time you got? The time is Now. We cannot, as a Society, separate. We cannot separate (the) State from Salt, (the) Lick from Bone, (the) Dry from Park, (the) Avenue from Light, (the) House from God, and so forth. Can you batch?, we know you can botch, can you butcher, as in slaw?, can you dozen the alternatives?, can you batch? Can you bundle?, we know you can bandy, can you bindle, as in slaw?, can you dozen the alternatives?, can you clump? What time you got at Five past Five? To empower the Trick Question please press "1" on your Rotary Phone. Beware, though. The empowered Trick Question may ask you, trick you, task you, ask. An empowered Trick Question, par example, once interrogated an entire office full of Fraud Investigators, investors, gators, and Frauds, with some slippery Freudian trickery: What time you got at Five past Five? Can you knot?, we know you can knit, can you gnat, as in slaw?, can you dozen the alternatives, can you batch? Say "Dope" to "Nope" if you can separate, and if you can separate, please press "1" on your rotary phone.

17 comments:

mark wallace said...

America is Salt. Which is why Everything is a Burger. Because a Burger is Salt.

Yep.

I'm saying nope to it.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

America is McDonald's and McD's is Sugar, so America is Sugar, except that it is not Sugar in the Raw, as was Adam to Eve, but refined Fatty Sugars, so America is not the Saying Yes, which would be interesting, but instead America is Fatty Sugars. -----BA

sausages said...

Who eats a Happy Meal in your house?

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

My mouse. Or, he's not my mouse, but the mouse under the stove. He comes out every so often and eats the peanut butter off the claptrap. *He* eats the happy meal in my house. ---------BA

sausages said...

Mouse Genius --

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

It's a little blue mouse. He once came out, set off the trap, which threw peanut butter into the air. I had just cut on the lights. I swear to god -- he watched the peanut butter go up into the air, watched it arc, watched it splat on the floor. Then he ran, little blue mouse, under the stove. These are the times that try little blue mouse souls. ----------BA

sausages said...

His company ain't matchin' his 401k. That's what it is --

mark wallace said...

Is this all a Trick Question?

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

America is Calamari, no? We are fried squid, we are quid pro quota, we are Tri-polar. -----------------------BA

mark wallace said...

Fried Squid is Salt, and Tri-Polar is a Pillar of Salt. Three pillars, if you want to get all technical.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

SQUID PRO QUOTA!

That's the next blog title. Jeebus.

Calamari is Salt. Agreed. Salt is, not exclusively, squid. Salt can be squid just the same way that the Swede chops This and the Swede chops That. Salt can also be smelts, uglyfish, and bird shriek. So, you know, it can also be America, but America is "The Stairs Is Gross."

--BA

mark wallace said...

Ain't nothing opaque about that. Salt, however, is opaque. Can't see through Salt for the Salt On The Other Side.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Man, you speakin' in tongues, man. You sayin' two, three things at once. Like a juggler, man, like a juggler. You sayin' this and you sayin' that. Ain't nobody ever said none of that before. Nobody. Man, you speakin' in tongues, man. -------------BA

mark wallace said...

I always go for the Juggler and rip it out. And I don't mean Jugular. Necks are sacred, but people twirling Balls of Salt, no. Twirling Balls is Fatty Sugars.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

One minute you're a Juggler the next minute you're a Mime. There is no worse outcome -- than being a Mime -- since the Mime imitates Fatty Kuts. You look at the mime, you get Fatty Kuts. The Mime looks at himself, he gets Fatty Kuts. It's a cul de sac, a dead end, a train constantly headed toward Rosslyn. Being a Mime is our punishment in hell, if we're not careful. The Mimes is Gross. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BA

mark wallace said...

Fatty Kuts, I'm with you in Rosslyn. Isn't that in a famous poem?

Still, a good gin and tonic is improved with a Slice of Mime.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Ah, it was a survey. You always serve a Mime soda with Fatty Kuts.

If someone takes your vitals, don't let them take your vittles, makes sure you get them vitals back.

------------------BA