Thursday, September 10, 2009

WHEN FANGS DO FISHERMAN NIP.

How to catch a Dorkfish


All right, People, the housing market ain't so bad that domiciles are cheaper than clothing. Before you start dressing in building materials, consider the fact that the snake will bite you just for looking like an idiot. "I wouldn't of [sic] bit that guy, had he not gone as a chimney. Chimney makes me feel MEAN." Thus sayeth the serpent. Was it Caesar who said "Venom, Vidi, Vici?" Or was it that dude, Seizure, instead, Julius Seizure? Either way -- consider the Message. Were you not Ridiculous, you would be unscathed. The minute you made yourself Ridiculous -- and let's talk about that minute, yes? Some say that Ridiculous is genetic but I say, You were not born Ridiculous. One minute fine, the next minute you've got the serpent coiling around your ankles. And for what, a bite of commonplace fish from a commonplace tributary? The bear -- we should note -- catches the fish without a rod and reel, without leggings, in fact, without clothing of any kind, and you're not going within one mile of that bear, am I right, Danger?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ridiculous is tapered jeans. With denim coiling around your ankles.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

HA!

mark wallace said...

Chimney. Whaddya tawkin', chimney? Come awhn, guys. Chimney. I know what you'ze guys is tawkin' about.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Yeah, guys. Theahz at least a two chimney minimum to most houses, these days. Whattya tawkin?

mark wallace said...

Come awhn, guys. You know me. I knowze all about chimneys already.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Whattya tawkin 'specialty chimneys?' Come awn, guys. You don't need fancy chimneys.

sausages said...

Step away... from... the chimney...

Chimneyz iz gross. So iz jeans w. elastic waistbands...

Wonder what GINA's "Dave" is wearing these days...

Step... away... from... the chimney...

sausages said...

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/jellyfish-tossing-helps-land-madeira-beach-man-in-jail/1034519

Geopoulos said...

Long time no blog. Have you been working those two pound weights? You know -- I really still do take issue with your issue-taking. Why, O, Why?

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Why? For all the Shakapopouli in the world. That's why. BA

sausages said...

O, I am slain!

sausages said...

It's back to mini-burgers for me:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/10/science/10fish.html?no_interstitial

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Thus sayeth Polonius.

As for miniburgers -- I mean, buddy, your life is not over. Go out. Get thee to a miniburgers.