Saturday, July 18, 2009

COWBOY HOT PLATE.

Et Tu?


George Stephanopoulos with purple two pound weights versus Yahweh with double helix in lavatory. Coming soon: "Senior Advisor Xbox 360 -- Second Term." Got joystick? Then you, too, can manipulate little avatar Stephanopoulos as he jettisons himself from the administration. "I ditch this appointment, Mr. Prez, that made possible my career, in order to mutilate your legacy." George Stephanopoulos with mobile device versus heckler with obscene gesture in specialty doughnut shoppe. Work them little two pound weights, up Wisconsin, down Wisconsin, one of the President's men. Little avatar Stephanopoulos reports from the poof of talcum mishap. Little avatar reports from the gastropod. "Senior Advisor Xbox 360 -- Second Term" comes complete with Scratch 'n' Sniff ethnic aromas and ceremonial beanie. Yahweh with double helix versus heckler with obscene gesture in lavatory of specialty doughnut shoppe. George Stephanopoulos in patriotic cape and tights, with giant blue "A" on his chest. He sings: "ACUMEN!" Faster than a speeding filibuster (!) -- More powerful than a poontang scandal (!) -- Able to leap constitutional crises in a single resignation (!) -- "ACUMEN!"

Friday, July 3, 2009

NOW PLAYING.

Work with it!


Tonight, on Extreme Weapons Amnesty -- "The potato gun discharges into the sergeant's left buttock, leaving forty-nine potatoes in the magazine." Tonight, on Extreme Throwing Crap -- "A green apple is thrown into a YMCA snack bar by a 15 year-old boy, causing the manager, a high school hall monitor, to squirt ketchup all over his beard." Tonight, on Extreme Third Nipple -- "A fringe religious leader explains that the sabbath cannot begin until the third nipple has been revealed." Tonight, on Extreme Army Trapped on an Isthmus -- "The Vikings slay some and levy higher taxes on others." Tonight, on Extreme Weapons Amnesty: Michigan -- "A pickup truck arrives at the checkpoint with a gatling gun and numchucks." Tonight, on Extreme Pregnant Pause -- "A newlywed couple discovers a flaming bowel movement on the front stoop of their historic duplex." Tonight, on Extreme Are You Jewish? -- "The season finale; a winner is declared; the pawnshop business is awarded; Laren Bacall is remembered." Tonight, on Extreme Quincy Reruns: "Fujiyama jumps out of a closet; Quincy solves the case; Lauren Bacall is remembered." Tonight, on Extreme Probing -- "George Stephanopoulos discusses Xbox 'George Stephanopoulos' game."