A MAN SEARCHES FOR THE PROPER EXOTIC DANCE TO SUIT HIS MEDICAL CONDITIONS, WHILE THE EXOTIC DANCER, RUNNING OUT OF CREATIVE OPTIONS, SEEKS A WEE BITTEEN OF RELIGION.

The man detected a return of his symptoms, and thereby requested a Relapse Dance, from the exotic dancer. After his cardiologist diagnosed yet a new condition, the man ordered a Mitral Valve Prolapse Dance. For a while, the man tried to live with this condition, but after a fainting spell, he asked for a Collapse Dance. Conventional therapy didn’t work, surgery ensued, and afterwards, the man sought a Laparoscopic Dance. The man reflected on his life, at one of them, ehhh, express kiosk dingies, with one of them, ehhh, gigantic muffins the size of a bowling ball; on the way home, he inquired about an Elapse Dance. Meantime, the dancer was running out of interpretations, to suit the man’s spectrum of exotica. “Seeing as I’m the only exotic dancer in this gosh-forsaken one-Walmart town,” she thought, “I gotta get me a new perspective, or at least, a wee bitteen of religion.” On the occasion of a-wandering about, she discovered a church, a place of well-scrubbed worshippers, the Loofah-rans. Its well-known founder, Martin Loofah, had been a friar, he had been the deep fryer, deep friar of the fries, down at Mickey Dee’s, so he knew about boiling oil, heat rash, and grease trap—just the kind of expertise a lost soul might seek from her spiritual advisor. There were saints and sinners, winners and loofahs, according to the church’s doctrine. After a spell in residence at services, the dancer began to “loofah thy neighbor”, even as she tittered under the electric light, some serious giggle-wattage. She decided to help the man—who requested her interpretive dances—to reform himself, in the holy house of the Loofah-rans. She might even perform a L’apse dance, there, wielding some bawdy wash.