a rheumatologist of one’s own
I was reading The House of Mirth, Wind & Fire when I spontaneously combusted. At the same time, two hair-metal bands joined together — Ratt Poison — in the Palmolive Garden behind the Julius Caesar Salad Days Inn. Go read that article in which Virginia Woolf refused to have A Rheumatologist of One’s Own, because his name was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde the Baloney.
bernie could still be joe’s pick for vice president
I want to rent a safe sex movie, but I can’t decide between Under Extreme Emotional Durex and The Silence of the Lambskins. On the way
out of the video store, I pass the Jheri Curling Team. Yep, they’re headed to
the ice rink, with the stones, the brooms, and the activator. Bernie could
still be Joe’s pick for Vice President, if only he’d change his preferred
pronoun, quickly!
and now a poem
Cardi B
Cardi BBQ
Cardi BBQ & A
Cardi BBQ & A E I O U
Cardi BBQ & A E I O U-Haul.
J Lo & B-hold!
deus ex big machina
“You-Rippa-Deez?” is an olfactory accusation, not the name of a classical Greek tragedian, and in any event, Euripedes didn’t write the bigotry drama Seven Against Hebes. I don’t like how Greek plays depend purely upon chance to resolve their funereal plots. For example, all of their characters are just trudging along, starving to death, when out of nowhere, they spot the golden arches of McDonalds. Deus Ex Big Machina is the name of that literary device.
Yes, I know how the Achaeans won the Pubic Wars, but we’re talking about how a smuggler brings heroin in a condom through a security checkpoint. Shouldn’t it be called Trojan Mule?
Who gone and hijacked my name?
ReplyDeleteThe Machine
Very silly & brilliant.
ReplyDeleteYour Cardi Ologist will see you now.
Ah ovah heah 'n da House o' Murph Wind n' Fire.
ReplyDelete--reetuh
Mark, Ex Machina, Wallace. Or maybe Deus -- Mark, "Deus," Wallace. We know that Fats Waller said that "Deus was in the house" when Art Tatum entered the club. And wasn't that Mozart's first name? I'm-a-Deus? Very headstrong stuff. In any event, thanks for letting me borrow your nickname for a little while. I guess someone, somewhere, might be looking for their fine plates -- "ma china?"
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TPW, good sir, many thanks for your high praise -- by that I mean "very silly." Someone's a cardiologist because they can only give you a hint -- a gist -- of what might be the matter with your ticker tape parade. As a result, my blood feels all kinds of pressure to perform, so it often acts on im[pulse]. But I digress. The same is really true for the study of all life forms -- a biologist is not someone you can ever get a straight answer outta -- they're simply just giving you all kinds of biographical sketches.
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reetuh,
ReplyDeleteare you then referring to the can o' widget? are you referring to the dark, dark pour and the frothy stout? i suppose that "earth wind and fire" is a trilogy, in consecutive order, of how one might incinerate one's (own) wind. but how did we get to this point? there is well all reet, yes, we know that, and that some reet is in the a, but of course, as we now know, some reet is in the b, too. the way of all reet, is all RITA, and ore ida. aye.
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uh huh
ReplyDelete--reeta peteeta
reeta peteeta,
ReplyDeletejackie wilson would be proud! (as well as all utteriz of "uh huh.")
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