I am with my parents, both of whom are in their eighties. Every
morning we hold a mandatory Staff Meeting (pictured above) in the kitchen. We
discuss our approach to the day. Mostly, we discuss the ways in which we irritate
each other. Truth be told, as Chief of Staff, these meetings are dominated by
me describing the many ways that my parents extensively aggravate me. After
that, we move on to provisions. I am sent once a week to a local greengrocer,
and since I get to—since I’m now encouraged to—wear a blue bandanna around my
face, I’m eager to go. I pay my bill, thus I’m hardly a robber; I just look
like one. After provisions, we address cleanliness. We agreed to give the
twice-monthly cleaning woman a paid leave, which is nice of my parents, except
that I have to do all the cleaning! (We live in a medium-sized apartment.) But
in lockdown / quarantine, the thing is: chores are good, they organize the day.
I’ve also developed cultural awakening routine that I’m emplacing for at least
a month, and probably longer. Here are my details, quips, activities, discoveries,
notes, suggestions, et cetera, in digest form. Enjoy.
ULTIMATE GOAL
To get my parents through this crisis, healthy. The elderly
have a lot to teach us. In no way should they—ever—be sacrificed in the name of Wall Street.
HIGHBROW & POP CULTURE
Current books: I am finishing the second half of W.
Somerset Maugham’s collected stories, and the selected stories of Lucia Berlin.
Both reads are enjoyable: one is swashbuckling, the other is
comedy-amid-tragedy or vice versa.
International Netflix mega-series: Babylon Berlin (lotsa Berlin!) has been
the best. Even as it’s more “fantastic” than Peaky Blinders, it’s more believable, and the performance scenes,
in particular, are astonishing. Interestingly, the two series are linked by the
PTSD symptoms of the main characters, who suffered through mental anguish in
World War I. When English rock band The Fall asks “Who Makes the Nazis?” in
their album Hex Enduction Hour, well,
Babylon Berlin appears to be
answering that question.
Domestic mega-series: Better Call Saul. This character-driven series is better—by far—than
its leaky predecessor, Breaking Bad. It’s
not even debatable.
New rock ‘n’ roll discovery: My friend Casey Smith
brought Girl Band, from Dublin, Ireland, to our attention. They’re in the same
league as Sleaford Mods, who will be appearing, hopefully, October 1st, in D.C.
Last ten jazz albums: Louis Armstrong, The Great Chicago Concert; Albert Ayler
Quartet, The Hilversum Session; Art
Blakey & the Jazz Messengers, Meet
You at the Jazz Corner of the World, Vol.
1; Anthony Braxton, News from the 70s;
John Coltrane, Giant Steps; Miles
Davis, Milestones; Walter Davis Jr., Davis Cup; Booker Ervin, The Freedom Book; Charles Earland, Black Talk; Curtis Fuller, Blues-ette.
EXERCISE
Average daily running distance: 5.25 miles.
YouTube abs workout: The tatted guy at “officialthenx.”
That workout is brutal, and I resent the tatted guy every day of my life.
YouTube pushups workout: Mike Rashid’s warrior
pushups.
YouTube H.I.I.T. workout: “abnormal_beings.”
Additional exercise: 40 minutes stationary bicycle +
extensive burnout with 10 lb. sand dumbbell extravaganza.
Physical exercise summary: Running, cycling, upper
body, and H.I.I.T., two to three hours daily.
Animals I’ve seen while exercising: I’ve developed a cozy relationship with a foxy fox. Otherwise, there has been an increase in
raptors: eagles, owls, and hawks. I see dozens of deer each day. I never see
the white breasted nuthatch, but I hear it laughing at me, all the time.
Crossword puzzle: New
York Times (available online via Arkansas
Democrat Gazette.)
My Duolingo language: Francais.
Also: Could we get one sport to come back, with disease-free
players housed in isolation, and games played in empty arenas / stadiums? Prem?
Baseball? Shinny? The boost from that would be exponential.
DIET, SHOPPING, &
SUNDRY ACTIVITIES
Diet: Vegetarian (I’ve earned my three year pin!)
Thus far, it has been easy to keep this diet, except for the douchebags who are
hoarding cans of black beans as if they were toilet paper. May your hoarding of
the former lead you to require even more of the latter!
Great new recipe: Sweet potato vegetarian chili.
Beers on hand: Porters and Stouts. My friend Sausages
also gave me a bottle (to be opened soon) of Laphroaig 10 year. I haven’t been
drinking much, though. It’s hard to do this all alone. If you want to have a
drink—or a coffee—let’s make a virtual date!
T.P. situation: Average. If there’s a gentle increase
in pooping, we’ll still be all right.
Shopping strategy: I wear gloves and bandanna mask. I
hand sanitize afterwards and wash my hands before unpacking anything. We place
perishables in the fridge. (They are washed in cold water before use.) (We may
switch to washing in advance.) Everything else is quarantined for three days in
a side area, to allow for any surfaces to straighten out. I wash my hands
again.
DEEP THOUGHT / LIFE
CHANGES
Like many people, I have been examining my life closely. When
this crisis ends, and it will end, despite the criminal mishandling of it by
the already-impeached White House “leader,” I am going to make significant changes
in my life. I will be talking to some of you, Dear Readers, about these changes
when the time comes. Likewise, if you have anything monumental to relate in my
direction, I’m here. I’ll be here for the foreseeable future. Mostly, be safe
and stay healthy. May your loved ones be healthy, too.
QUIP
There should be a movie entitled Quaranteen Wolf, starring Quarantina Turner, directed by Quentin
Quarantino.
