Monday, October 8, 2007

Chicken Lickin' Is Lickin' Chicken



I take you back to the film The Mechanic, where, at one point, Charles Bronson and Jan-Michael Vincent (J-MV) are poised to kill a bunch of motorcycle thugs. To gain entry to the thugly compound, J-MV poses as a chicken delivery man and utters that famous phrase, "Chicken Lickin' is lickin' chicken," and behold, the doors open. Believability issue: Chicken delivery? I suppose that motorcycle thugs can arrange for chicken delivery although it would be more fun to ride one's chopper in search of A Little KFC. What about J-MV starring later in Abduction II: The Reunion, among other topnotch flicks? Abduction / Reunion? What, like a bunch of kidnap victims and / or kidnappers get together to reminisce about the good ol' days? And I mean, that movie was a *sequel*, Jack, a sequel. i.e., There was "The One That Started It All."

Speaking of which: Note the "BUY 1 GET 1 FREE" above in the Chickin Lickin (sic) window. We, in the biz, call that A Little Two For One. You should always be on the lookout for A Little Two For One. Classic Twos-For-One include the Northeast Corridor, pollination, and nail polish remover. Underground or "cult" Twos-For-One include nimbostratus clouds, mumbo jumbo, and jumbo: Slice, gumbo, and mambo. The mambo, folks, is a dance while its cousin, the mamba, is a To-Be-Avoided snake. The mamba dances the mambo while the mambo only knows the motion of the commotion of the Land of Goshen. Hence, a little Two For One. Eh? What about "W" and his father? Perhaps the Clintons. Funkadelic and Parliament? Kool and Newport? Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass. A Little Two For One, folks.

I wanted, this week, to veer into politics. I wanted to Rail. To, you know, impress you all with my "acumen." I think, maybe, that we have entered a new era. And this era should be known as Post-Intellect. That is, we, as a nation, seem to have the IQ of a Post. We could only hope that (that) means a blog entry or an overseas position, as opposed to a piece of mail or a fence part. Lately, I've resided in horror at the prospect of typing two "thats" in a row. Why the hell would anyone be so freaking lackadaisical as to require two pronouns in a row. You don't see "him him" or "she she" although there could be a stutter of sorts: "You ... you bah-stard." Ah, I take you back to an era where the word "bah-stard" actually stood for something. In these Post-Intellect days, you can't even insult anyone anymore. You can rattle off a hundred curses and it's, like, nothing. Take away someone's Chicken Lickin', though, and you're Cruisin' For A Bruisin'. I rest my case. In that, I sit down and chill my weary duff. xo B.A.

11 comments:

mark wallace said...

I've had a craving for fried chicken recently, and then this post came along and I thought, "Where can you get good fried chicken anymore?" And the answer is probably nowhere. These days, fried chicken is just another burger.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Well, you can't bloody well get chicken delivered, eh? Who has ever knocked on your door, wearing a uniform, going, "Fried Chicken!" eh? I mean, if you've had that experience please do tell. Also, if I write a serious reply to your blog, will you please post it? I promise to be nice. BA

mark wallace said...

I post all serious responses--the reason I moderate is to screen out empty insults and the like.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I mean, what I'm saying is, I want to have a reader and an audience. That's all I'm saying. Stay tuned. DG

Michael said...

If Chicken Lickin were actually a movie, then it'd be the prequel to O'Tasty. I'm expecting a new blog on Baltimore Cultural Experiences...

Now, here's how the Democrats are stupid. Well, I believe they've officially realized that they can't do anything about Iraq. Well, Biden got the partitioning bill passed, but still, it is clear that they aren't going to be able to come up with anything concrete for getting out of Iraq. That they've resigned to that, they're now concerned w/ genocide that happened in Turkey in 1915. 1915. They can't fix what's going on, today. So, let's fix shit that happened ion the past. I can just hear the logic,

"If we pass this resolution, then the genocides will not happen."

Now, ain't that finger after finger after finger lickin' good.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Well, it goes without saying that things are so bad on either side of the aisle that we have to wait for the next election style to have any hope whatsoever. And at that, we have few, if any, reasonable options. Lester Young for Pres, eh? We could wind up with Clinton II, Bama I, or Rudy the Red Nosed Decider. It's brutal. O'Tasty for president! DG

mark wallace said...

Guess that comment on audience never materialized?

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

No, I left one. Shit, did I do something wrong? I'll try again. DG

mark wallace said...

If you haven't already signed in to Blogger before you post, you have to sign in twice sometimes, because I moderate comments. I've seen nothing from you come through so far.

Rye said...

Yes, I know this blog is ollld, but I have to reply.

>> Well, you can't bloody well get chicken delivered, eh? Who has ever knocked on your door, wearing a uniform, going, "Fried Chicken!" eh? I mean, if you've had that experience please do tell.

You haven't? When I lived in NY we used to get Chickin Lickin' delivered. They put it on a paper plate, covered with another plate and the edges stapled together. Mmmmmm.

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

This is many years later but thank you for this comment. I sure would like some Chickin Lickin. Do you need to recite the Jan Michael Vincent line? Will they send over them little pickled carrots???