Saturday, April 25, 2009


w/ Harpoon Attachment for Quelling Ocean Strife.

In some corners of the world, Sorrel Soup is the Soup of Choice, and can be known as Sh'chav, and in other corners of the world, the Shah of Iran is the Shah of Choice, and can be an authority on Sorrel Soup, in which case, he is often referred to as the Sh'chav of Iran. Some folks fashion garments from greenery, Sorrel Suits, and other folks fancy clothing that expresses their remorse, Sorry Suits, and still others, yet, favor technology, downloadable Ironies known as Sarcasts. Irony as in solid-like, by the way, as in Pressed-through-Steamburst, or Hamlet-upon-Riverway. Not to be confused with one's Cronies, so-called because they Crow in Tongues and Proximities, Needs and Knees. Crow Knees. Chews One or Choose Many can be the difference between Mastication and Mass Migration. The way Simulacra can be Sancta but Sanka will Sink Ya. Read all about it or Rehab your Doubt, the two represent Equal Opportunity if not Cheeks and Balances. While Plato's sophomoric history, Sophist, may have predicted Sweet 'n' Sour Tarts 'n' Turks, it was Nietzsche's The Twilight of the Idols that foresaw Modern Nipple Violations. Or, if you will, and you won't, a Go Go Girl with a Swelled Head might be termed an Ego Girl, you Go Girl, four saw and twenty scores ego. I mean, that's Conceit, even if it's not Concession, that's Receipt, even if it's not Recession, it's a pour worse than Session, it sure ain't Renaissance. Dear Noodle Ring, Dear Pringlebrain, Dear Executives Masquerading as Sympathy Mannequins, Sequence & Sequins as Fiscal Policy. Imagine a Doll, a Doll is Simulacrum for Not Breathing, a Dull is Luxury, whereas a Doll is Us and a Dull is You, Dear Pringlebrain. Adultrated our Dollars, you have, in Breathing and in Breathless. From Stones and Weeds Shall Soup Be Made.

Monday, April 13, 2009


One Love.

Note how Excuse Me has become Skew Me has become Scume. At the Big Box Retailer at the Jetpack Pavillion at the Nature Hike. In this ailing economy, Endowments are down and Extenze won't help. But Big Boxes are prospering, to the point where people can't help but Scume. There are Two Worlds, I guess, One Love, and No Enhancement. The Stairs Is Gross, in the first world. The Stairs Is Gross in the other world, too. "Scumez Moi." There is a sale on Lip Balm, Lip Blam, Cans of Whoop, and Over Easy. No, she does not have five Sweet Potato T-Shirts, she has worn her Sweet Potato T-Shirt five times, you Nooty Nooget. No matter how old you are, the time has come for your parents to have the ol' Artificial Blueberry Talk with you. Tiblet, Gimlet, Giblet, Fib, is how it starts. Riblet, Ribbit, Chick Lit, Tib, is how it starts. By the time the Artificial Blueberry Talk has come to a Natural State of Rest, many people Skew Me, and nobody Skew Say Moi, even as the Mottoes & Chants, led by Salesmen and Salsa Men, go A = Always, B = Be, C = Clobbering, Always Be Clobbering, A, B, C.

Friday, April 10, 2009


"Because it is Bitter / and Because it is my Herb."

The slaves cried out for some suntan lotion / While Pharoah smoked Shisha in the Land of Goshen / "Tut tut," said Tut, to the Masses / "I will sic my Armies on your Homeys / No gassy passy No safety glasses No rigatoni No Slammy Yamma" / When along came Moses with his tricked out Staff / He cast it down, Sudden Snake, and it began to Rap: / "You will see, Tut Tut, some medieval Plagues / You will stammer, But But, by the end of the day / There will be a Frog, a Gnat, a Slug, a Rat, a Cat from Prague with a Baseball Bat / If you deny the slaves their S.P.F. -- then you will be visited by the Angel of DEF!" / BREAK DOWN! / And the Jews did the Robot before they fled / And the Jews ate unleavened bread / And the Jews did the Robot before they fled / And the Jews ate unleavened bread / Then for Twenty Score and Twenty More / God dropped Bagels from the sky / Then for Twenty Score and Twenty More / A Rock 'n' Roll Salmon came swimming by / Lox, Bwoyyyeee / Smoky Fish / And the halls of The Academy quietened / Shhh / The Seder was afoot //

Friday, April 3, 2009


sham WOW WOW yippee YO yippee YAY

If you graduate high school and need something to do, you can always join the Arms Race, and if you come out the Arms Race, and need something to do, you can always join the Rabid, I mean Rabbit, I mean Hare, I mean Hurry Curry, I mean Hairy Krishnas, and if you graduate them, and need something to do, you can always join the Intellectual Property Krishnas, those bold, bold Esquires battling for Your Intellect, Oh Yeah, you can beat the Drums in the Park, you can bash the Tambourine beside Statue of Thoughtful Felon at Dusk, this ain't no Post Bop Economy, it's called Opportunity, Ltd., that's right, you may Apply yourself to a Task, to a Mattress, to an Opening, Ltd., but the only jobs are in Forwarding, and Forwarding, my Friends, requires Membership in the Tribe, Oh, don't fret, there are all kinds of Tribes, from Roto Rooter to Harris Teeter, from Deuteronomy to P-h-a-t Economy, there are No Shortages of Tribes, Vibes, and Jive, the Question, really, is one of Membership, does it involve Vindaloo, I'll tell you what it involves, there will be no more People to introduce People, in a Charles Mingus Presents Charles Mingus kind of way, it'll be You Presents You, China Presents China, Opportunity, Ltd., Presents the Human Being as Gross Revenue, we can only Hope.