Friday, May 14, 2010


A no porking violation.

We live on one big, humping planet. It is therefore surprising that a detachment of soldiers would be assigned to investigate a little bovine friendliness on the lea. The army has to plan for everything, I suppose, and a good soldier must be able to identify a field pork in a pinch. A pig in a poke, as it were. Will our predator drones also go to 7-11? It's that, folks, or every 'Ambulance' must be converted to 'Ambulate', and circulate, like busses, so everyday citizens can attend psychotherapies. As for EMTs -- they'll be stowed aboard UPS trucks, delivering packages and patients as profit margins allow. Isn't that the future of health care? As if we were healthy. As if we cared. Most Americans are 'pro choice' if 'choice' means 'kuts' and 'kuts' means 'loin'. Think about it -- there must be 10 billion loins in motion (and countermotion) at any given time, and I hear that one factory in China manufactures 40 percent of the world's loincloths. An investigation took place with scores of loinclothed policemen, even as the findings hardly hampered the humping. I do not know which of the following currencies will triumph -- 'administration', 'blame', or 'hump distribution' -- but we are running some serious deficits; it is some lean loin out there.