Thursday, January 15, 2009

Skeletons to the Right

I guess the closet is full.

The floundering economy has necessitated cutbacks that, already, have taken the dignity away from Great American Traditions such as Skeleton Return. Pretty soon we'll see Skeleton Reform, and after that, you'll just see despondent Bags o' Bone sitting in the park, drinking they Deuce Deuce, steam rising off their skulls in brassy, reedy fog. In any event, Skeletons are at their boniest since the Great Depression, when New Deal Skeletons were more calcified than a nice big cuppa Dustbowl. Postmodern Skeletons, on the other hand, Extrapolate, in that, they practice corporeal punishment with their little ones. They conflate and intertextualize. If they rebate, then they masturbate twice. One can bait his breath, if he means to trick his respirations. The Skeleton, however, means to trick his expirations. To whit, the Skeleton can achieve separation, should he become disconnected from his expiration, but that's a ghost story -- the Skeleton bouncing down dark alleyways, with his expiration in pursuit. Sometimes, a Special Officer, i.e., one who can demonstrate either a pulse or an I.Q., is called in, to corral said Skeleton, kick him around, and reunite him, all so vividly, with his expiration. We are Structure, and we are Weakening. If we scream "Jackass!", do we mean another, or are we identifying ourselves? We are Language and we are Debt. In that, we lease our Skeletons from the Landlord, the Earth, its doors to the right, its closets, its walkup duplex with berber carpeting and a riverview.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Neon Horror Clippers

All Ye Who Enter Shall Leave Changed . . . Personally.

The difference between "lion" and "loin" can be a lousy diph-thong, an underwear-thin vowel sequence. Too, the lion covers itself with a cheesecloth whereas the loin stalks us au naturel. When the loin is not tender, the loin is always tender, the loin is not legal. You cannot pay your rent with loin, you cannot post an envelope, you cannot purchase the dealie. Someone else, however, will purchase the dualie, someone else always purchases the dualie, which can be the dealie, as well, only not with loin, he will not purchase the dualie with loin. 'Fused? Then prefer the porkchop, the establishment does not serve the porkchop, nobody can remember the porkchop, prefer the porkchop. Would you quit forking around? You know how much I hate it, when you fork around. We can spoon, we cannot knife, we cannot attempt all the cutlery positions, we can bowl. Tell me something that's not so "Obvi" -- and by that, I mean not so "kicked in the knickers". I used to consult the Ethnic Market, the Ethnic Market had those funky roots, the Ethnic Market lost some composure, thereby developing needs of the Ethic Market, which tumbled again, today, on reports of selfish, shellfish, two times a lady. A man named Marmalade will never become president-elect, he could be secretary of buttery spreads, ("Obvi!"), in that, he could preside over the nation's manses, menses, minces, and muensters. Lettuce mints whirreds for the grater good, i.e., Implement.