Tuesday, May 6, 2008

MacBeth, Explained -- Read On

"Quit deforesting my #$&!-ing $%&*," sayeth They.


The fact is, Trees do talk, even if they do it chemically. "For the record," they say: "Fetish ain't no river in Serbia though Fettoosh is a salad in Syria." But Salads, Folks, are Trees, like it or not, and those Trees are talking a lot of gibberish about Toe Jam and Futbol Scores, etc., that the Syrians swallow when they eat they Fettoosh. And by Syrians, I mean Syria, Ohio, eh? The Trees, moreover, predicted that the Cavaliers would defeat the Celtics in 6 games, but Superdelegates would award the series, anyway, to Boston. Okay. Kay. Kay. Kay. A Tree and a Rabbi walk into a Lumberyard. Or is it a Tree and a Rabbit walk into a Lumbaryard? A Priest and Poplar? A Debutante and a Doppler? Lots of talk about "Eras" in Our Great Nation. We live in The Associative Era, no matter what, meaning that you cannot, repeat: cannot, even sit next to someone in a waiting room without being blamed for their Obese Cultural Value Set. Consider that the next time you sit beside an Elm, a Sugar Maple, a Hickory, a Ficus, or a Fettoosh.

Do you think that, when he wrote, "Great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane hill," Shakespeare was thinking of a classic hard-on? It's poetry, Yo, so it has millions of possible interpretations. Mine is, the Bard had a (massive) morning woody whilst staying in his lodge at Birnam, i.e., "Great Birnam wood," and had to otherwise depart immediately with Mrs. Bard "to high Dunsinane hill," and thus, the whole experience served as an inspiration for his famous, and lethal, Scottish play, MacBeth. Don't listen to your English proffs. The F do they know, anyhow? (That's a pun, folks.) I'm not much of an actor -- I do play a small role in National Geographic's RAT GENIUS -- but it's not a recurring role and I have not, Ahem, seen any royalties yet -- but I do hear that actors are loath to participate in a staging of MacBeth, because, apparently, the play is cursed. I think that a Japanese film company should produce Hamlet vs. MacBeth. In it, I would expect MacBeth to kick Hamlet's ass, even though Tokyo and outlying Prefectures would be devastated in the struggle. "Domo!"

15 comments:

Kirk said...

Ladies & Gentlemens
A New Era (ahem) of Shakespearean filmic recapitulation has been heralded. Hamlet Vs. Macbeth's just the beginning
I'm looking forward to: Beth Vs. The Ham

For post-film viewing, the McHambeef is the perfect accoutrement (German for "a coital mint") to one and another's quiet reflection on past/current/future transpirings.

On other fronts, I'm trying to write a fucking screenplay here on The George Washington University's Mount Vernon Campus and these trees, goddamn. They's talking about revolutions or convulsions of the reverb tract.
Tree shit, you're thinking.
Exactly.

I went to Syria, Ohio. The mayor wouldn't stop showing his kid brother's stencils.
I don't care if it goes without saying: I ain't going back to that dustforest.

Me, I need to be with the people, the trees.
Y'ain't never gonna bring me back to no Syria, Ohio.

Kirk said...

Addendum:

Real Mount Vernon Shit Going Down

mark wallace said...

Thanks for this week's picture. Last week's was so gross that I couldn't even look at this blog.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Yes, apologies for last week's photo but then I really had to follow through, in my opinion. I mean revulsion / necessity, eh? As for The Prefect: Perfect, The Prefect. Eh? That, or Doobage. I dunno. ----BA

Kirk said...

Ain't no doobage
Most recent Gallup determined 11 AM doobage during finals week to be "A No Go".

Finishing a screenplay, tweaking a play, writing two papers, typing two theater reviews...been doing it all for the last fifteen hours.
Mad work on all but one. Nothing totally done. I has mad stressors.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Speaking of Michael Jackson, is that him, aka Ricky, in the picture, sitting on Geraldine's lap? Otherwise, the Doobage is for them mad stressors. ----BA

Kirk said...

I can't substantiate the query, but I can provide the following: This Geraldine Jackson can't get enough of The Ricky Jacksons Dutet.

Doobage is for post-stressors this time.
Doobage would run-over into mid-finals week makeup class I have in three hours.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

That man does not know that he is not playing an inflatable guitar. ----BA

The Goose said...

Well, having just completed my final college paper, which JSH (Just So Happens) to be about Shakespeare (First sentence: Shakespeare's world is a world of poisons, intoxication and death. YEAH!), I feel fully qualified to inflate my guitar on a daily basis and tell everyone about it. Call me an exhibitionist, call me a taxidermist, call me a doobologist, WHATEVER. I know a thing or three 'bout coital mints and Mount Vernon Shit. An Old Timer. A (Near) College Graduate. A former Plantagenet and one-time Rick James impersonator. Again, whatever. "Everything is poison." "Nothing is poison."

Mira said...

I, too, like this week's picture better. I do not like ventriloquists, though. I do not like Quists. Nordquists, Nordstrom's, etc. Tee hee. mira

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

R.I.T.A., The Prefect aka kirk: I love youse guys but let's truck on down the road a wee bitteen cleaner than the f-word, s'il vous plait. I say that with kindness in my heart and gratitude for your many visits. ---- BA

Kirk said...

Carbon Free Truckin'
Yeah, the the the the the the Goose.
Damn right.

Have a three sample.

In most recent doobage news, I can't reconcile my doobsperience with Novalis' assertion that "everything is seed." I think Novalis needed a better hookup than this guy.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Long Live The Prefect and His Links. ----BA

Mira said...

Tee hee. mira

Maya said...

I'd like to see a play about Bet ham & Maclet. (or Maclette).