Sunday, October 5, 2008

Persecution Duplex

For a balmy bonce


There is an upstairs to a complex and a downstairs to a prosecution. All Americans will soon engage in Hypothermia Practice, which is, broadly speaking, band practice without the instruments, uniforms, and sheepmusic. No, that's not a tasket hound, that's a gasket sound. Too many claps on the buttocks nowadays celebrate an insufficient outcome so much so one must come to terms with too many claps on the buttocks. Coffee will now be served during most North American ecological disasters. The terms of the financial bailout are as follows: (1) You may visit "Your Money" once a month on weekends, and (2) "Your Money" is hereafter defined as "Theoretically Liquid." As in, Pisswater, theoretically. A typical Salisbury Steak Frozen Dinner has been fed into a Supper Collider where it is being slammed into Mac 'n' Cheez, Hamhocks & Cornbread, Surf 'n' Turf, and Rigatoni, in the hopes of discovering Quantum Epigastric Development (Q.E.D.) It might be funny to feed Twelve Trillion Dollars of American Debt into the Hadron SuperCollider in the Swiss Palps and see if a black hole will eat it, or just pick at it, if it's not hungry. That's about all we can hope for, otherwise. Son, says the parent, if you work hard, you, too, can grow up. Period. 'Bout all we can hope for, to Grow Up. That night, the son sleeps beside the lyre, and the lion creature devours his dreams. Nobody ever said that.

23 comments:

RITA said...

Insulated pickle barrels may be necessary, too. I've got a nifty pair of suspenders for mine.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

It's a semitic tradition to bob for pickles. O, how I've had my head in the pickel barrel. I remember many a lazy afternoon bobbing for pickles while Abe Toronto, Abe Woodmere, and Abe Rowing a Boat to China Abe spoke of grinding a fish. ------BA

RITA said...

The agent, gasping for breath, asks, "Whaddya call that act?" And Uncle Abe says, "The Aristocrats!" ...

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

I never saw that.

Which Uncle Abe. It matters.

-------BA

RITA said...

Rowing a Boat to China.

tmorange said...

upstairs in the theoretical hammock.

ecological clap steak served in epighastric cornbeard basket.

the securitization pissoir is palpable.

got any keating on ya?

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

If anybody says "pissoir" then everybody else has to drink. It's just one of those little coincidences. ------------BA

RITA said...

Sounds more like Buck Downs than Charles Keating, but I don't know 'bout no pissoir, but I do know those ROTC boys in college used to piss and s*** in bidets during many a night of heavy drinking at Georgetown house parties...

RITA said...

Speaking of Keating:

keatingeconomics.com

Trust me.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Well, TKO said "pissoir." Joe Biden said, like "apparatchik" or "afficianado" (sp?). -----BA

dusie said...

Claps on the buttocks? Swiss Palps?

Don't be so Ernest regarding pissoirs mates... pass the cornbeard basket//

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Don't forget the Supper Collider. ----------BA

RITA said...

Biden also said that in 1929, FDR came on the TV and comforted everyone.

Obama said that he's been to all 57 states. Now, if Kerry had said that, then that'd've made sense...

I'm just sittin' here watchin' the wheels go 'round n' 'round...I'll eat some cornbread...

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Passive Aggressive State, State of Disbelief, State Your Name, etc., in addition to West Dakota, North Minnesota, and South Idaho. ------------BA

mark wallace said...

One floor below prosecution is: Returns. And let me tell you straight up: there's no justice to be had in returns.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

And one floor below returns is Priorities. It just shows you (the lack of) service. I mean, doughnuts? Fine. Repair? Fine. But there are no blooping Priorities, except Pass The Blame. The Buck Stops Over There -- Except That Over There Is An Express Train To PERSPECTIVE. And guess whose PERSPECTIVE we're talking about? -------BA

tmorange said...

who put pickles in my rumsfeld bucket?

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

You got rumsfeld you got pickles you got pickles you got bucket you don't got guts. You could make you a picklesbucket a picklesfeld a picklesfled a feldbucket you don't got no gutbucket. That's the problem with Bush Lite. No gutbucket. -------------BA

mark wallace said...

I want some gutbucket with my Lunchmeats.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

A Gutbucket on Rye, am I right? -----------BA

Dana said...

Nope. Nobody ever said that.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Dana! Good to hear from you again. How's stalkin's? Do tell. ----------BA

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

rita, are those raccons in the attic or are you just happy to see me? it looks as if those raccoons could be in the eaves, dormers, garrots, leantos, or portable johns. eh? ------------ba