Monday, March 8, 2010

THE ECONOLODGE AMERICAN DREAM.

Get some spellcheck on that tag, yo


Will that be Oral Vulgarity or Written Vulgarity? Inside the safe you'll find the condiment bar, and that'll be two Fins. There ain't enough mustard, though, to feed the god, to free the swallowed child. The children of the gods, therefore, are lost, and this, for all practical purposes, is your final notice. If you want to say "Chine" say "Chine" -- should it ameliorate the repossession of our -- collective -- drywall. Our troubadors crooning the Oleo Leo. I mean, we can't even spell "doomsday" below the window and above the grille. I'm sorry, but all rooms in the EconoLodge American Dream come with Very Aggressive Culture. For an extra charge, your Very Aggressive Culture can be 100 percent certified Organic. If necessary, you can ambulate in the digdug pen beside the dumpster, and then settle down for a complimentary Incontinent Breakfast. Choice of EconoLodge Bananas. Or, if you will, calculate the chance of zealotry viz the appearance of actual zealots. The Fallback? Oh yeah: Nearly forgot: The Center is an idealogy: Queue the pilgrims.

12 comments:

Buck said...

Followers of Don Armege ("Armege in the Morning") usually tag his name that way; something to do with the "Hungarian Rhapsody", whatever that is.

word verification: shazat [!]

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

That mot verite is like half sabbath half shazam. The Econolodge American Dream would rhapsodize Hungarian if there were Franchise opps in Buddha Pest. BA

Anonymous said...

As long as it ain't Visiting Assistant Culture, then we'll all be fine...

-sausages

Anonymous said...

my mom went to an econoclodge with DAVE once -- tjey don't talk about it. Gina

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

I'm still grappling with "shazat".

I think we all know what that word means.

Actually, it seems redundant, in some ways, unto itself.

As for Visiting Assistant Culture -- Whaddya mean, Sausages?

As for Gina -- if DAVE went to EconoLodge with your mom, then, I mean, either times were tough or there were no other options. They probably danced in the 70s throwback lounge next to the digdug pen.

BA

mark wallace said...

To become Visiting Assistant Culture, you gotta spend a lot of nights in the EconoLodge, going over your notes on Shazat. Don't ask if you don't want to know.

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

In fact, Shazat fits perfectly with the EconoLodge American Dream. Wherein, you can have unlimited Shazat with every reservation. And do (have unlimited Shazat) !!!

Visiting Assistant Culture is oftent confused with the medical version of that title. Someone who swabs the throat on a one year contract. And won't know where to go, and what to do, should the contract not be renewed.

BA

mark wallace said...

Is there a Butternut Incontinent Breakfast with Bananas, gratis? Or do I have to pay extra?

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

I'll have to check but I think it's EconoLodge Butternut Incontinent Breakfast at (and the key word is "at") EconoLodge Choice of Bananas Incontinent Breakfast.

BA

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Oh, sorry. Yes, you have to pay extra. Choice of butternut breakfast and choice of bananas doesn't obviate the need to pay. That'll be two Fins.

BA

sausages said...

Hate to say it, but there had to be a magic-fingers bed involved, too... at the eek(!)ono lodge... somewhere in the desert sands of Ohio... next to a used car lot... and them bleu movies...

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Shazat now available on Bleu Ray starring Phatty Grrl and the Shizzle. Available at EconoLodge American Dream with choice of EconoLodge American Bananas and Vibrato Bed -- 25 cents gets you an All Nighter.