Tuesday, March 19, 2013

IT DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH OF THE MENACE.

The Two Lovers of the A-peck-o-lips


I’m playing the new hand game, “Rock, Mingus, Emoticon,” where Rock rolls down cliff on top of Mingus, Mingus punches Emoticon in winking eye, and Emoticon makes Rock weep enough miracle water for all the parched wandering tribes. No, Exodus is not part of the X-Games, Silly, although Exodus will be a demonstration sport in the next Olympics. It’ll be just like the Discus Throw—people running around screaming, chased by charioteers. The song “Go Down, Moses” now inspires people all over the world, whereas it was first sung by Moses’ wife, after the couple repaired to their tent, for the night. By contrast, the Alan Lomax Field Escalator Recordings have captured a variety of obscure American escalators, discovered, as it were, creaking and groaning, only through word-of-mouth, out behind the tool shed, often delivering nobody anywhere, often delivering anyone nowhere, creaking and groaning, out behind the tool shed, only through word-of-mouth. When broadcast over the Ocean, the Alan Lomax Field Escalator Recordings led to a dramatic increase in Whale Jumpings. By that, we mean loop-de-loops, not gangs of rogue orcas setting upon sponges and kayaks and sushi. The saying “Love Thine Anemones” comes to mind, but it doesn’t have enough of the menace. I wonder, sometimes, if I’ve been secretly hypnotized, as I wind up running the darnedest errands—standing in a rooftop swimming pool for hours or taking a cab to the opera—does that kind of crap happen to you? I came-to, this latest time, clutching several copies of a dubious screenplay, Moses & The Burning Bush, smack in the middle of a casino. So, I did what any secretly-hypnotized citizen would do: I played the slots. At first, I was getting “Lemon / Mingus / Orange” and “Cherry / Mingus / Grape” but then I started getting closer, “7 / 7 / Mingus” and “Mingus / Mingus / Bar.” When, up and down the aisles, all the machines bore the same combination, and it was like they’d gotten hit (in the jackpot) in their souls, and it was Mingus Mingus Mingus Mingus Mingus.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

All this cunning Mingus talk is burning my bush.

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Let me clear my throat -- AH UM -- before I reply. Quit appealing to the Bass instincts of my readership, Jack. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BA

Geopoulos said...

Mingus, Lomax, and Moses -- quite a bourgeois post, Dan, with a little 'biblical panache' thrown in. Congrats. Settling down ain't the end of the world, so to speak.

Anonymous said...

oh hahahahahaha duuuuuude. we just learne4d about mingus in my jazz appreication class. i showsed some of the other kidds in the class but the teacher got angry cuz it was still during class! we do facebook all the time anyway. do you remember my dog rebar? she had a litter! so excited. DAVE says hidey hidey hod. GINUH

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Ah, BourgeoisOpoulos, I mean you and not Marky Mark could star in a movie entitled Bourgeois Nights read: Bougie Nights. You know, settle down with a glass of red wine, and recall your days selling out Bubba? Ah, DyspepticOpoulos. Ah, refluxOpoulos. It burns, it burns! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BA

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

GINUH! there are little rebarz running around? that is too much for me. as for facebooking during class -- i mean, i thought that's what your degree was in! but no, i mean, we love mingus around these parts. glad to hear that he's on the required reading over at Big State U. yrs, ba

mark wallace said...

Why is this post hating on Coltrane?

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Legend has it that Trane's Atlantic album, My Favorite Things, could've been called John Coltrane Presents My Favorite Mingus, but in the end, cooler heads prevailed, and the latter name was scrapped. Mingus could only utter "Mingus" when asked about this. His official comment was, "Charles Mingus says Charles Mingus." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BA

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

also: gina: rife RIFE with typos! maybe fb less in class and work on that spellcheck yo! i can't believe you spelled 'litter' properly when you flubbed so many other words. also, you nearly got through "hidey hidey ho" but added a "d" to ho. ho should be ho! argh but yes, hahahaha, good to hear from you. regards to DAVE. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BA