Sunday, November 29, 2015

L=A=N=G=U=I=S=H POETRY.



If you can’t pay in dollars, then you might as well pay in pathos.

They’ll take just about any currency down at the Five & Paradigm.

So, a guy walks into a bar along with a huge growling grizzly, and the maître d hollers, “Oh my god! Table for two?”, and the guy replies: “Thanks. I know this grizzly situation may be difficult—bear with me!”

Meanwhile, the insect had been dead for such a long time, rigor mantis had set-in, but more than that, it’d gotten fashionable to be a dead insect, it was de rigueur mantis.

I like to sit in the portion of the aircraft where ordinary passengers receive self-help lectures, you know, motivational coach.

A fellow once sat next to me in motivational coach, a famous baseball slugger traveling to attend a Jewish girl’s coming of age ceremony.

He would be, in fact, Casey at the Bat Mitzvah.

How to explain, but the animated character suffered a ritual humiliation at the hands of an angry mob, in the new moving picture, Avatar and Feather.

The village crier scrambled into the town square in a state of alarm: “The Scot is dead”, he shouted, “the Scot is dead.”

“Oh no!” someone called back, “how’d he die?

“He was kilt!”

In an unrelated development, an Irish pop-rock band had to fill out so much American employment paperwork, they changed their name to W2.

“No more leads”, lamented the police detectives, as they chowed-down some lunch at a Mexican restaurant.

“Yep”, they lamented, “it’s a real cold case-a-dilla.”


10 comments:

M. C. Zito said...

H=O=M=E=R=U=N==F=U=N=N=Y=S=*=*=T==!

Bears are funny. Pics of crittiz in the wild are funny.

Haha!

Ssgs

T. A. Zook said...

Thanks, I needed that!

tpw said...

You think everything is a joke.
Is everything a joke?

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

M.C.,

Thanks, Chauncey. You know what's funny? "Volf-gang? Ou bist du?" That's funny. Then the sardonic? sardines? sarcophagus? look on Kojak's face.

All righty,

---------------------BA

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Thanks, T.A. And I, in turn, need Lost Civilizations! Happy Thanksgiving. -------B.A.

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

tpw,

i think that everything's a joke except joking, which i take very very dirge-fully. unlike everything else, i don't believe that humor should be "dirge cheap". dirty deeds on the other hand -- should be done dirge cheap.

---------------------b.a.

Anonymous said...

languish yeah. -- c

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

languishing is underrated, anon-c, in any event. i intend to languish for a good long time. i intend to languish-in-place, to patty-melt, to patty-smelt.

------------b.a.

Tom Raworth said...

"Languish God Own". "A pun!" says….uh……me. Thanks, Dan: keep that diploma milling. Tom

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

"No Pun" I always thought was a Stooges song, until I was recently corrected by an automated voice somewhere in my head. I don't remember ever hearing an automated voice that wasn't limiting my access to essential services, but now I do. "No pun", it says, "no pun." It kind of rocks, this voice. And I know it means the opposite......

I'll keep the diploma is a-milling, Tom. Great to hear from you.

------------------B.A.