Monday, April 13, 2009

THE STAIRS IS GROSS.

One Love.


Note how Excuse Me has become Skew Me has become Scume. At the Big Box Retailer at the Jetpack Pavillion at the Nature Hike. In this ailing economy, Endowments are down and Extenze won't help. But Big Boxes are prospering, to the point where people can't help but Scume. There are Two Worlds, I guess, One Love, and No Enhancement. The Stairs Is Gross, in the first world. The Stairs Is Gross in the other world, too. "Scumez Moi." There is a sale on Lip Balm, Lip Blam, Cans of Whoop, and Over Easy. No, she does not have five Sweet Potato T-Shirts, she has worn her Sweet Potato T-Shirt five times, you Nooty Nooget. No matter how old you are, the time has come for your parents to have the ol' Artificial Blueberry Talk with you. Tiblet, Gimlet, Giblet, Fib, is how it starts. Riblet, Ribbit, Chick Lit, Tib, is how it starts. By the time the Artificial Blueberry Talk has come to a Natural State of Rest, many people Skew Me, and nobody Skew Say Moi, even as the Mottoes & Chants, led by Salesmen and Salsa Men, go A = Always, B = Be, C = Clobbering, Always Be Clobbering, A, B, C.

12 comments:

sausages said...

nattering nabobs of noogetivity --

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

instand spood? what is instant spood? ----------------ba

sausages said...

I don't know. But I think it can be found between the trickle and the spotted dick --

mark wallace said...

I climbed the stairs. No lie. I did. Then I did it again.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Treacle, man. Treacle. -----------------------------------------------------------BA

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

There are many worlds but in each of them: THE STAIRS IS GROSS. You are climbing the stairs. This is good. More people need to climb the stairs -- and even as more people climb the stairs -- follow me -- dig it -- Less Total Person will climb the stairs. Otherwise, THE STAIRS IS GROSS is a vicious cycle. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BA

Anonymous said...

the dudu on the right is a maniac. who is that? is that a friend of yours? gina

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

"dudu" -- Typo or intentional?

That's Ponch, silly. He's from a show. Actually, he's Erik Estrada. One of the CHiPs. The other dude, in the middle, is Fish. He's from a show, too, one called Barney Miller. Actually, he's Abe Vigoda. He was in the Godfather, too, I think.

CHiPs was a show. Fish was a character from another show. Together, via the art of comedy, they are Fish 'n' Chips.

It's hilarious and has been known to cause Kinniptions.

BA

sausages said...

Someone still thinks it's "lower than funny," though --

The fault is not in the stairs...

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

Ah, Torp, I see what you mean.

Gina -- my friend Sausages came up with that joke. Combining the character from one and the title of the other. It's a joke that our mutual friend Mark cannot stand. Which makes it even funnier / stupider / funnier.

------------------BA

mark wallace said...

Dumb and Dumber. Dumb was in one movie and Dumber in another. Pass me the fish and chips.

Dan / Daniel Gutstein said...

We were combining shows. There was Fish and Chips and . . . Fantasy Boat. Didn't we also come up with Doogie in Cincinnati, also? -----------------------BA