Nearly two years ago, I met some friends at the pub to watch little
To make my life easier, I do not own the following kits
(both home and away, unless otherwise noted): Rutger Hauer Appreciation Day
kit, Breakdance kit, Contract with America kit, Ethnic Festival home kit, Mongoose
kit, Great Horned Owl kit, Reversible kit, Alias kit, Wrinkle Free home kit,
Hockey Bro kit, Fugitive kit, Bubonic Plague Historical Reenactment away kit, Joke
Store Beard away kit, Hookah kit, Marriage kit, Formal kit, Religious Worship
home kit, All U Can Eat Buffet & Apres Ski kit, Amphibious kit, and High
Fructose Corn Syrup kit. Thank goodness. Because how could you find anything at
all if you had to sort through all those kits?
Some days ago, I found myself rummaging through all the
kits I do own—specifically, my Jogging kit, Hiking kit, Second Interview away
kit, Corporate Nostalgia away kit, Supervisor away kit, American kit, Airport
away kit, Tourist away kit, Hoodlum away kit, Short-sleeved Under kit, Third
Date home kit (which could always lead to wearing the Birthday home kit), Pub
away kit, Pajama home kit, and Housework home kit. There it was, finally: I’d located
my No. 8 Jonjo Shelvey away kit, in its Adidas Climacool black and red
splendor, a single Premier League lion loitering in the lowest dip of the 8. First,
I donned a fine long-sleeved Under kit, then the Shelvey kit, then I made for
my neighborhood pub.
Shelvey.
My friend, Alex Mejia, greeted me at the pub, where he works as a bartender. He likes
My name is Dan Gutstein. I wear the Jonjo Shelvey away kit since
I wish to honor the tempestuous genius, No. 8, who plays midfield for Swansea City , the greatest little football club
in the world. Up the Swans!
Cultural Affairs Week Editorial Schedule
Cultural Affairs Week Editorial Schedule
March 2: Crows & Owls
March 3: I Eat Mushrooms!
March 5: Corporate Strategist Addresses Middle Management
March 6: Kits
March 6: Kits
7 comments:
Some people who don't know Jonjo Shelvey question his appearance. He has alopecia, a hair loss disorder. He also has a cannon in his shooting leg. Defenses have to defend him from great distances lest he bang in a goalazo!
---------Eds.
I myself do not own a Clean Funding kit or a Job Approval Rating alt. away kit or a Man All U Can Eat kit, though WMATA should give us all free Schedule Adjustment kits. But thanks to a friend like you, not only is my name Sausages, but I also wear the 12 kit--avec deux lions--of one scrappy little Nathan Dyer and the Beanie-Scarf Winter Warmer kit. Up our little club! Up the Swans! Up the Kits!
Out here in the west, some punk's always showing up wearing a Kit Carson, and there's no choice, of course, but to shoot that sorry feller down.
Every so often there comes along a person named Kit. Kit must have several kits. Or you have a person named Kat. I met someone named Kat recently. Where the hell are you, Kat? Kat has kits, no doubt. You have Kits and you have Kats. JUST WHO THE HECK ARE THEY AND WHAT THE HECK ARE THEIR NAMES? Never mind what kits they wear. It wears me out. ---------------------B.A.
M.C. Zito,
You not only wear the #12 Nathan Dyer Swansea City AFC Away 2014-15 Kit but you screamed out "Nathan Dyer" to Nathan Dyer and he heard you, in a befuddled way. (Just be sure you still have your cell phone.) Sheeee-ooot but WMATA should sell life insurance. It would be directly applicable. I plan on wearing my Refund Away Kit and visiting a kiosk near me -- like, every day. Up the Swans!
---------------------BA
I don't know who those kits or kats are. But here in the west, it's not so much of a problem: gun 'em down now, and sort out the names on their gravestones later.
Then you'd have a person named Kit or a person named Kat in the bullet-riddled home kit. Out there yonder in California. Kat in the bullet riddled home kit. In the six feet under away kit. On the other hand, this Kat won't need another kit, ever again. Dare we call it a California kit? O, amid the precious little flowers, the dried riverbeds, the regular detonations of the surf, the fish tacos, the burbling of great stout in a mug -- for these and other aspects, I SURE AS HECK WOULD DON MY CALIFORNIA AWAY KIT!
----------------b.a.
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