Saturday, November 12, 2016

POLLSTERGEIST.



pollstergeist

Noun  |  Poll ∙ ster ∙ geist  |  ⁄  ˈpōl-stər-ˈgīst  ∕

: A spirit that disrupts questions for a political poll, the tallies of a poll, the presentation of a poll, and the effects of a poll in determining the outcome of an election.


Examples of pollstergeist in sentences:

1. The pollstergeist replied “Hillary” every time the pollster asked a voter for his or her preference in the election, thereby leading experts to conclude that Clinton would defeat Trump.

2. The Democrats were toppled when a pollstergeist spread misinformation during the 2016 presidential contest, the results from which caused the party’s relevance to decline sharply.


First definitive use of pollstergeist: November 9, 2016.

Synonyms: Ouija Wedgie, Seer Sucker, Tedium Rare

Antonyms: Chekhov, Scalia, van Leeuwenhoek

Word origin: Pal (Dutch, chum) Stir (Old English, porridge manipulation), Gas (Greek, flatus).


Variation:

poultrygeist: A haunted chicken. A cage-free, pasture-raised, foraging, haunted chicken that lays deviled eggs. Eating the eggs will increase your ghostly cholesterol. Sucking on the eggs will mimic the recent anguish of Democrats [n.b. Not to be confused with poultryheist (grand theft chicken.)]


6 comments:

Pisha said...

OK I needed that laugh really really really badly. Thank you :)

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Thanks for taking a look, Pisha, and for your kind words. We're allowed to feel like crap for a little while, but after that -- fight for justice and defy the incoming tyrant. -----------------------------BA

mark wallace said...

I'm beginning to feel that a Trump victory is more likely than I thought.

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Unlike the relative clarity of Sport -- he seems to have more points in one category and fewer points in another category, but still, as you point out, a Trump presidency (we can probably say with more certainty than before) appears to be on the horizon. The following things can still intervene: (1) An exception in The Literature (2) French scientists release whatever they've got pent up in that supper collider [sic] except the French have not done enough research as to the partisan leanings of this entity (3) Currently, they're colliding Mac 'n' Fromage, in the supper collider [sic] (4) Somehow we unbutton a curtain, and step through, into another America (5) I mean, pretty much -- ANY OTHER AMERICA WOULD DO.

----------------BA

Anonymous said...

Nah. The Cavs'll sweep Trump in 4. #Believe

--rita

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

LeBron strenuously opposed Trump, as I recall. He ends a massive drought -- through play and captaincy -- and what? Ohio returns that favor by presenting LeBron with a massive turd burger. Hmmmm. LeBron: Here is a title. Ohio: Here is Trump. God awakes, briefly, and sez: I am not from America, you dolts. While the earth warms......


BA