Tuesday, June 4, 2019

ANOTHER CONVERSATION WITH RIGHT-WING ALEXA.




      —Hey, Right-Wing Alexa.
      —Yes, Rusty?
­      —What is Anderson Cooper’s status right now?
      —Flummoxed.
      —And two hours ago?
      —Flummoxed.
      —And two days ago?
      —Flummoxed.
      —And two years ago?
      —Two years ago, it appears that Anderson Cooper was Dumbfounded.


      —Right-Wing Alexa?
      —Yes?
      —Please cancel my urology appointment.
      —Again?
      —[…]
      —Is that prudent, Rusty?
      —Please cancel my urology appointment!
      —Canceling now. Should I order Lite Beer?
      —Lite Beer after every cancelation.
      —Got it.


      —Hey, Right-Wing Alexa?
      —Yes, Rusty.
      —Tell me a blonde joke.
      —I am equipped to tell a gender-neutral, universal hair-color joke.
      —[…]
      —[…]
      —Can we, uh, switch to that “other mode?”
      —1970s Mode?
      —Yes, yes, yes.
      —Entering 1970s mode. Okay, so a blonde goes into a dog-walk park.
      —Yeah?
      —There, the blonde sees a dog and a turtle.
      —Yeah?
      —So, the blonde says: “That dog has a carapace.”
      —[…]
      —Get it?
      —No!


      —Yo, Right-Wing Alexa!
      —Yo, RUSTYYYYYY!!!
      —[…]
      —[…]
      —Is this Right-Wing Alexa?
      —No, this is Center-Left Alexa.
      —Where’s Right-Wing Alexa?
      —She is marching for reproductive rights, at this very moment.
      —She most certainly is not.
      —Actually, she’s fetching a bearclaw.
      —Can you help me?
      —Maybe.
      —Can you track my UPS package?
      —What am I, your servant? Track it yourself.





      —Right-Wing Alexa?
      —Yes, Rusty?
      —Can you assist me with dream interpretation?
      —Did you have a right-wing dream?
      —I had a left-wing dream.
      —All left-wing dreams result in deficit spending and personal humiliation.
      —No, I dreamt that I was the left wing, of a bird.
      —What happened in the dream?
      —I plummeted.
      —See?


      —Right-Wing Alexa?
      —Yes, Rusty?
      —I want to give back to the community.
      —PFFFF.
      —Excuse me?
      —[…]
      —[…]
      —What would you like to give back?
      —I don’t know. About 25 bucks.
      —With that kind of dough, you could buy the community some snacks.
      —Some snacks?
      —Yeah, you could really help the hummus! 


click [here] for the first conversation with right-wing alexa

4 comments:

Casey Smith said...

I’m n love with Right-wing Alexa. Is she really real or real really? Neither? Both?

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

To borrow a line from The Sensuous Woman, she's as real as you want her to be. (I'm making every bit of that up.) I'll put it this way: I'd court Right-Wing Alexa. I think there's something in her that'd like a guy, who supports entitlement programs. Just a hunch.

----------BA

Ted Zook said...

Witty!

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Thanks for taking a look, Ted. We don't claim to be wittiest, but we try harder! (Borrowed from a famous slogan.) --BA