—Hey, Right-Wing Alexa.
—Yes, Rusty?
—What is
Anderson Cooper’s status right now?
—Flummoxed.
—And two
hours ago?
—Flummoxed.
—And two days
ago?
—Flummoxed.
—And two
years ago?
—Two years
ago, it appears that Anderson Cooper was Dumbfounded.
—Right-Wing
Alexa?
—Yes?
—Please
cancel my urology appointment.
—Again?
—[…]
—Is that
prudent, Rusty?
—Please
cancel my urology appointment!
—Canceling
now. Should I order Lite Beer?
—Lite Beer
after every cancelation.
—Got it.
—Hey,
Right-Wing Alexa?
—Yes, Rusty.
—Tell me a
blonde joke.
—I am
equipped to tell a gender-neutral, universal hair-color joke.
—[…]
—[…]
—Can we, uh,
switch to that “other mode?”
—1970s Mode?
—Yes, yes,
yes.
—Entering 1970s
mode. Okay, so a blonde goes into a dog-walk park.
—Yeah?
—There, the
blonde sees a dog and a turtle.
—Yeah?
—So, the
blonde says: “That dog has a carapace.”
—[…]
—Get it?
—No!
—Yo,
Right-Wing Alexa!
—Yo, RUSTYYYYYY!!!
—[…]
—[…]
—Is this
Right-Wing Alexa?
—No, this is
Center-Left Alexa.
—Where’s
Right-Wing Alexa?
—She is
marching for reproductive rights, at this very moment.
—She most
certainly is not.
—Actually,
she’s fetching a bearclaw.
—Can you help
me?
—Maybe.
—Can you track
my UPS package?
—What am I,
your servant? Track it yourself.
—Right-Wing Alexa?
—Yes, Rusty?
—Can you assist me with dream interpretation?
—Did you have a right-wing dream?
—I had a left-wing dream.
—All left-wing dreams result in deficit spending and
personal humiliation.
—No, I dreamt that I was the left wing, of a bird.
—What happened in the dream?
—I plummeted.
—See?
—Right-Wing Alexa?
—Yes, Rusty?
—I want to give back to the community.
—PFFFF.
—Excuse me?
—[…]
—[…]
—What would you like to give back?
—I don’t know. About 25 bucks.
—With that kind of dough, you could buy the community some
snacks.
—Some snacks?
—Yeah, you could really help the hummus!
click [here]
for the first conversation with right-wing alexa
