Tuesday, August 17, 2021

HAND POLLINATION OF EARLY GIRL TOMATO PLANT.

 


We’re taking a break from our standard musicology fare, in order to bring you breaking developments from the world of enclosed balcony gardening. The Early Girl Tomato Plant takes the spotlight today. Having placed one such specimen on the third-floor balcony at the abode of my parents in late June, I quickly realized that I couldn’t depend upon honeybees for the pollination of the little yellow flowers. A raid to capture a honeybee was considered, in that we’d grab one outside, release it into the balcony area for a period of a few weeks, befriend it, and provide it with all the creature comforts it might desire, including cantaloupes, deep tissue massage, and career counseling.

In the end, it became necessary to pollinate the Early Girl Tomato Plant by hand. A strict training regimen was adopted with the goal of strengthening the acute vibrational muscles & associated giblets. Boxes were rifled-through until a suite of fine art paintbrushes was prized. Then followed a period of speculative vibration, which included (initially, my friends) great periods of isolation and despair. However, there did appear, one fortuitous day, a little green tomato, lo, a cluster of fledgling Early Girls. Mind you, it’s basically mid-August, so the Early Girls are kinda late, eh? I immediately engaged in Early Girl research. I pored over best practices as established in peer-reviewed literature. I wanted to raise me some p-h-a-t tomatoes.

Serious tomato action!

In the end, the Early Girl responds to the basics: sunlight, grow lamps, water, and the singing of “Liza Jane” songs. And, of course, channeling my inner honeybee. I cannot say with any certainty that this strategy of intense vibration would benefit other flowers, and other situations, but I can say this: the Early Girl Tomato Plant is mighty happy to see me.


Song excerpts:
“Goodbye Liza Jane
” (traditional)
“Little Liza Jane
” (Sam Chatmon)

10 comments:

Casey Smith said...

We had that in the joint….

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

The phrase "In the joint" probably means different things to different people. A transaction from long ago involved "Italian spices" -- since that was in the joint. But I digress. Up the Swans, mate! We suck this year ffs but whatevs, as the kids say. Oi oi oi. BA

tpw said...

Beautiful singing, mon ami!

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Merci beaucoup pour le commentaire, mon ami! A bientot, --Sang Et / Blood And

Ted Zook said...

It is with bated breath that I await the girl tomato plant coming to full ripeness!

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Hi Ted, yes, we are eagerly awaiting the Early Girl tomatoes to ripen. My parents and I are big on tomatoes! And the Early Girl tomatoes have a great reputation. Hope all is well on your end, Good Sir. --b.a.

Anonymous said...

hey rockstar, yummmmmmy tomatoessss!!!! looking good! babsy

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Babsy! I don't really know what else to say, other than Babsy! Whoever you are -- if you are Babsy -- and we believe that you're Babsy (if you do too) -- thank you for saying hi and for your kind words. In all seriousness, take care and there is no other Babsy than you. --b.a.

Unknown said...

All around wonderful. Thank you.

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Thanks for your comment, Unknown. Oh, to know you! Well, if you want to be known, you can always be known, or you can remain among the virtual mists, huzzah, and thanks again. BA