Please complete in Quadruplicate
1. Do you publicly admonish The Establishment—uttering such
phrases as ‘Yeah, right!’ or ‘Up yours!’—even as you have prospered from its
policies?
2. Have you sat on a couch populated by members of the Avant
Garde, during a soiree, and refused a space on the couch to an ordinary person?
3. Does climate change threaten
you generally, or do you fret about danger to your professional reputation in
the face of rising temperatures and swelling seas?
4. If the nation elected a leftist
government, would you be prepared to endorse it?
5. How many conspiracies do you
contemplate in an average day? Circle one of the following: | 0 | 1 to 3 | 4 to
6 | 7 to10 | 11 or higher |
6. Speaking as an artist, would
you describe your collected audience to be situated above or below 25 total persons?
7. Does your favorite animal
inhabit the steppe, the wilderness, or the butte?
8. How many times do you congratulate yourself on social
media platforms, including, but not limited to updates on the basic activities of
daily living?
9. Have you, at any time, in any
previous connection, professional or otherwise, smelled like onions?
10. Are you familiar with the
military grouping known as the Vanguard, as exemplified by the Burgundy Armies,
and adopted, later, by Various Hordes?
If you are applying for Membership as part of a Hookup with another person, both parties of the Hookup must
complete questions 1 through 10, in Quadruplicate. Good day.
2 comments:
1. No, I have never prospered.
2. No, they call me Ottoman.
3. Yes.
4. Sure.
5. 1 to 3.
6. 8 people, 5 relations.
7. Jungle.
8. Twice a day.
9. Once, in a White Castle.
10. I own a Salvation Army Knife.
Did I get in?
The Committee has ruled that ownership of a Salvation Army Knife entitles you to Provisional Membership. Kindly remove the toothpick, dip it into Salvation Army Salve, and swiftly Salve all your problems. If you have a stubborn problem, we'd suggest the Salvation Army Tweezers as well. Once this process is complete, please re-apply by leaving your amended application at any shuttered arts space. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BA
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