[1.] Why Mississippi
and not another state, country, movement, or debacle?
You got your 1-Arid Desert, 2-Arkansas, 3-Micronesia, 4-Tea
Party, 5-Global Warming, 6-Federal Debt, 7-Mississippi, 8-Lewis & Clark’s
Route to the Pacific, 9-Colorado River Basin in Crisis, 10-Took a Wooden
Nickel, you know? There’s a lot of ways to count, to 60. So OK so.
[2.] Shouldn’t you begin
with “Zero-Mississippi”?
It’s not like the Universe began, and it was already
1-Mississippi outside. No, it was less than 1. Headed there, but not yet 1. So,
I mean, shouldn’t you go “Zero Mississippi”? What would the world be like,
without Mississippi? Delta-less? Delta blues-less? See? It’s more than you
think.
[3.] There’s an
infinite amount of time between 0 and 60.
Don’t believe me? Divide a half in half. You get half &
half. They call it half & half because it comes out of cow that has mixed
ethnicity. Whole milk, on the other hand, comes out of a pure-bred cow. They
have both types in Mississippi, pure cows and halfies. Lots o’ cows, yep.
[4.] Does anybody
ever make it to 60, and if so, who?
I bet that Gandhi counted to 60 a few times, although I
doubt that he ever said “Mississippi”. They have a statue of him in Washington, D.C.
In the statue, he braces himself with a walking stick and wears a thin wrap. I
worry about him when it gets below freezing. He must be mighty cold!
[5.] The 1960s is a
distant target.
You could count to the 1960s by year and by Mississippi, so
you could go “1900-Mississippi, 1901-Mississippi”, and so forth, but by 1960-Mississippi
you’d be too exhausted to enjoy John Coltrane’s music, which transformed so
much turmoil into beauty … but I digress.
[6.] What does each
unit of 1-Mississippi indicate?
The lightning is 3-Mississippi away. You are 1 Mississippi
closer to chasing your friends. In 9-Mississippi the CEO will issue a public
statement but will shy away from making an apology. It takes Umpteen-Mississippi
to achieve happiness unless you experience Premature-Mississippi.
[7.] Let’s try the
Stuff Smith Counting Game in French
One = un. Two = deux. Three = trois, et cetera. So OK so: Un-deux//
trois-quatre// cinq-six// uh-huit// neuf-woof. Which is how a lot of French ends,
with silliness like neuf-woof. You don’t get silliness when counting via
1-Mississippi. You just never get to 60. But at least you have dignity!
2 comments:
Did you mean Snuffy Smith?
Ippississim is Latin for "this is impossible." Look it up.
I guess they called Snuffy Smith Snuffy because he had some of that Railroad Snuff. You are a certain Smith because of what else can be said to characterize you.
No, I mean Stuff Smith because, I gather, Stuff Smith had a lot of Stuff. You must know some people named Smith. Ask yourself -- what really defines them -- and then you'll see it's probably why their first names are their first names.
But I digress.
---------------------------BA
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