Monday, November 19, 2012


“Airing one’s laundry” used to be respectable!

Let’s start by changing the word “ghetto” to “grotto”, in that, you don’t live in The Ghetto, you live in The Grotto, and how about that girl you’d like to chase?, she doesn’t dress “so ghetto” but she dresses “so grotto.” Consider some famous people who arose from humble circumstances, such as the First Artist of the Renaissance, Giotto di Grotto, and the fifth Marx brother, Aleppo, the Syrian Marxist, who engaged in Trumpet l’oeil, which is Vaudeville for ‘Trompe the eye.’ It’s all about getting to be Persona au Gratin as opposed to being Potato non Grata. Are you hiring? Who’s hiring? Well, how about employing a word if you’re hiring, and that word is Celestiality, the urge to have relations with the constellations. Have you lost your virginity? Have you found someone else’s virginity? Either way, you can visit the Virginity Lost ‘n’ Found, to claim a lost virginity or make-available a virginity you discovered in an underwear state, like Ohio. I mean, I’m from Ohio, and I can tell you that Ohio is home to any number of people who have Truss Funds. Sonny Pro Bono didn’t Cher & Cher alike, but he did act in the public interest, he did install his Cherware, and he didn’t really flaunt his timecher in Vietnam, where the Vietnamese kosher pig situation has hardly been resolved. That is, the pig has come to understand that it’s not in his best interests to chew his own cud. I say the pig because there’s only one pig in question, so even if he were declared kosher, there’d be a considerable battle for him and his, uh, loins. Up that alley, Ask Not For Whom the Taco Bell Tolls — the Taco Bell Tolls for Thee.  

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