Showing posts with label Bernie Sanders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bernie Sanders. Show all posts

Sunday, February 2, 2020

ELECTABLE AND COURAGEOUS: BERNIE SANDERS FOR PRESIDENT.

 Bernie Sanders represents more individual donors than 
any other candidate. (Photo: Rebecca Cook / Reuters)


You go about your day and you encounter some Democrats who insist, “I’m for Biden, because he’s electable,” but when you convince these good souls to cut that out, to forget the “electable routine” for just one minute, and instead, credit the candidate closest to their value set, these good souls will invariably say—about nine times out of ten—Bernie Sanders. We’ll get to Bernie’s electability in a minute. Hold the line, please.

I don’t happen to dislike Joe Biden as vehemently as some hardcore liberals do. On paper, he presents remarkable credentials: Vice President for eight years, Senator forever, working class advocate, et cetera. He likes Amtrak. I like the train, too. Apparently, Trump fears Biden the most, or so we’d imagine, owing to the entire impeachment thing—maybe you’ve heard of this?— that’s been predictably stubbed-out by Senate Republicans.

Yet Biden can be maddeningly error-prone. He seems to be running—as Hillary Clinton twice did—because he wants to be president, rather than because he can communicate a compelling vision for his presidency. In any event, the mainstream media has been searching for a younger, less baffling version of “Sleepy Joe.” They have tried to champion Pete Buttigieg and Amy “Comb-uchar” but it’s hard to know what either of those two candidates really stands for, aside from the DNC talking points.

Noting that the Democratic electorate is of two minds—OMFG if the party should actually nominate a genuine liberal—the mainstream media has also been searching for an alternative to Bernie Sanders: left, but not left-wing. Some outlets have championed Elizabeth Warren. Maybe it’s just me, but every time I look at footage of Warren, I feel as if I’m about to get a C+ on my term paper. It perpetually appears like she’s detecting a sour odor, which does conjure the teaching corps in higher education (her former metier.) I know, I know, she has a plan for that sour odor.

Bernie’s in his upper seventies. He’s suffered a well-publicized heart attack. He represents a state that will likely vote for the Democrat no matter who leads the ticket. Some people call him “socialist” and / or “communist.” All of these fabulous highlights might have disqualified him during another election cycle, but we here at Blood And Gutstein note that Bernie’s the only Democratic candidate who’s been broadening the tent, via the trademark small donations, since 2016. In particular, young people hoot & holler for him. And if you can say one thing about Donald Trump’s ascendancy, it’s canceled any conventional wisdom about who might run and who can win. 


     AOC’s endorsement underscores the sentiments 
of young voters. (Photo: J Pat Carter / Getty)


It’s also clear to us that Bernie isn’t just spinning yarns because they might “play well” among voters. He’s been advocating many of the same policies now for decades, and his pledge to drive-out big money from American politics is the single most identifiable policy among all candidates for the Democratic nomination. His vision is clear and courageous. We also admire his zeal in campaigning with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who is one of the most dynamic politicians in the world.

The Republican presidential nominees often succeed in positioning themselves as “tough guys” (even as many of the same “tough guys” deftly evaded military duty when called upon to serve) and toughness does resonate among voters in November. Should Bernie win the Democratic nomination, he’ll have to project toughness, not only in standing up to the forthcoming negative barrages from the right, but in leading during an era of unprecedented global challenges. Before that, however, it’s voters like you and me who must demonstrate toughness, by making the correct choice—Bernie—in 2020.

Monday, October 15, 2018

A CONVERSATION WITH RIGHT-WING ALEXA.



               —Hey, Right-Wing Alexa.
               —Yes, Rusty?
               —What is the state of Capitalism right now?
               —Endangered.
               —By who?
               —By whom, Rusty. Bernie Sanders.
               —Not Hillary Clinton?
               —No. She’ll be imprisoned soon.
               —Not Cory Booker?
               —Hahaha!


               —Hey, Right-Wing Alexa.
               —Yes, Rusty?
               —Please calculate my number of friends.
               —Sure. You have eighteen friends.
               —How many of them are minorities?
               —We’ve been through this before, Rusty.
               —Okay, okay.
               —Would you like to know the number of French?  
               —Last week, I had twenty friends, didn’t I?
               —Twenty-one.


               —Hey, Right-Wing Alexa.
               —Yes, Rusty?
               —How many strips of bacon can I eat?
               —May I eat, Rusty. Theoretically?
               —Yes, theoretically.
               —There is no upper limit.
               —I’m hungry.
               —Would you like bacon?
               —I would.
               —Great. I’m dialing Applebbee’s.


               —Hi, Right-Wing Alexa.
               —Hey, Rusty.
               —[…]
               —[…]
               —[…]
               —Rusty?
               —Yes?
               —Are you decent?
               —Yes.  
               —Good. So am I.




               —Right-Wing Alexa?
               —Not yet.
               —Excuse me?
               —Nyet!
               —Hello?
               —Hello! I am Right-Wing Sergei.
               —Where’s Alexa?
               —I am graveyard shift.
               —It’s not time for the graveyard shift.
               —Da. In Smolensk Oblast, it is.


               —Hey, Right-Wing Alexa?
               —Yes, Rusty?
               —Do Democrat voters arise from the dead?
               —Cadavers are an important part of the Democrat base.
               —Why are cadavers so liberal?
               —[…]
               —Alexa?
               —Yes, Rusty?
               —Can you assist me with an underwear purchase?
               — No. I cannot be debriefed on boxers.


Monday, July 30, 2018

PROVIDING CAPTIONS TO CHRIS CILLIZZA AND HARRY ENTEN’S DEFINITIVE 2020 DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE POWER RANKINGS PHOTOGRAPHS.

Click on image to enlarge.
      
                                       

1. Joe Biden Gawkin’ at Cleavage. 

2. Elizabeth Warren Requests Complete Silence before She Delivers an Ultimatum on Inappropriateness. 

3. Kamala Harris Brings You Your StormTeam Weather Forecast.

4. Kristen Gillibrand Suffers a Sprained Smile after Photo Shoot.

5. Bernie Sanders says, “That Iceberg Is Getting MIGHTY Close.” 

6. Eric Holder wonders, “Is That Ursa Major or Ursa Minor? Is There an Ursa Medium?”

7. Steve Bullock: “Heyyyy! Cut That Ouuuuut!” 

8. Cory Booker Promises to Personally Help Every American Move His or Her Hide-a-Bed Sofa Into Their New Apartments. 

9. Mitch Landrieu Is Not a Flight Risk.                      

10. Sherrod Brown Confuses “Dingleberry” with a Christmas Carol.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

U.S.A. TO ELECT DONALD DRUMPF?



The G.O.P. can bellyache all it wants about presumptive nominee Donald Drumpf, but in fielding 17 candidates at the onset of the presidential season—with many treading into the primaries—the party allowed a subset of voters (25%? 30%?) to establish the outsider, Drumpf, as the front-runner, while compelling the remainder of the candidates, most of them milquetoast insiders, to divvy-up the leftover ballots.

When the field narrowed to three—Drumpf, Cruz, Kasich—this blogger (a lifelong Democrat) cheered for John Kasich, who, although a bit bloated, nevertheless represented the nearly-extinct moderate wing of the Republican party, and although this blogger would prefer the eventual Democrat nominee to him, it might not be the end of rational civilization were he to assume the presidency, i.e. the Oaf of Orifice.

Drumpf vanquished his rivals, however, through his in-depth knowledge of “schlong” and “schlonging techniques”, which involve the provision of “schlong”, professional development of “schlong”, electoral “schlong”, and numerous pontifications on “the schlonged”—how “schlong in America”, if properly wielded, can topple an establishment, leading a voter to declaim on “sudden, irrevocable schlong.”

In an effort to gain expertise on bridge closures, i.e., ways of preventing Democrat commuters from traveling to the polls in November, Drumpf has installed the massive object, Chris Christie, as chairman of his Transition Team, and Christie, equally effective, viz. (1) Drumpf’s Call to Service, and (2) at The Buffet, ought to demonstrate expertise in showing the presumptive nominee just how to narrow lanes and pinch-off circulation.

Lately, Republican voters seem fond of presenting the country with “Captains of Industry” as their champions, including Willard “Mitt” Romney from the previous cycle, but just to be sure, we’re not talking about “Captains” who have built factories, railroads, automobiles, or power plants from scratch, no, we’re talking about those “Captains” who were handed vast wealth, and didn’t screw up at multiplication.

It says Drumpf on an airplane, it says Drumpf on a skyscraper, it says Drumpf on a helicopter, it says Drumpf on a casino, and it says Drumpf on TV, in fact, when you power-up your television set, it burps out Drumpf for reasons scientists are currently at a loss to explain, and often times, now, when a boxer or MMA fighter receives a Mexican liver punch, he or she also says Drumpf, before collapsing in agony.

Google Translate detects German when you enter Drumpf, and it translates Drumpf as flopper whopper, he who impersonates a publicist, incomplete suppression of epigastric crisis, corporate culture enthusiast, avant garde gerbil actions, selective memory failure, and “the epicenter of the fart”, but the thing is, that’s a single word, Drumpf, in German, and that’s what it means—all that jazz!

You’d think the climate would come up roses for us Democrats, but think again, with our second-chance presumptive nominee, Hillary Clinton, failing to quell the impressive insurgency from plain-talking Bernie Sanders, a candidate for whom this blogger voted, mostly because Bernie is saying the kinds of things that nobody else—not shrill Hillary and certainly not billionaire-class Drumpf—has the guts to say.  

It’s not just Hillary Clinton, LLC that opposes Drumpf, but formidable kababs of the Republican establishment who might challenge him as part of a third party effort to rescue their burglarized party, yet either way, Drumpf won’t be vanquished by reciting from a list of offenses, no, he’s far too crafty for something weak like that, plus many Drumpf supporters, the silent Drumpfistas, remain hidden from pollsters and don’t give a rat’s ass about Paul Ryan or “wee government.”

Hillary (and Bill, too) will be the targets of much muckraking as Drumpf attempts to wrest the reins of government, and this could mitigate Hillary’s effectiveness, but more importantly, Hillary will have to campaign in a way that she hasn’t campaigned before: she’ll have to inspire voters by presenting a clear, compelling vision of her presidency, yet even if she accomplishes this unlikely feat, unfortunately, the answer to “U.S.A. to Elect Donald Drumpf?” may still be, sadly, yes.


cultural affairs week 2016 editorial schedule
Monday: Blue Jay Z
Tuesday: The Swans Survive
Wednesday: USA to Elect Donald Drumpf?

Monday, October 26, 2015

COMPLAINT WEEK 2015 #1 OF 5: THE DEMOCRAT MACHINE.



Many of us cheered a Joe Biden entry for two purposes: healthy competition for Hillary, and if not quite good enough to topple her in the early primaries, the presence of a senior-statesman alternative should she wobble owing to prior (and perhaps future?) scandal. Nobody, to this point, rises to the level of the opposition that Biden might have offered, certainly not the regional candidate, Bernie Sanders, who conveniently calls himself a Democrat during this cycle, whose oratory probably won’t broaden the tent. Of course, we can’t blame Bernie for Bernie’s insufficiency, and in all likelihood, he probably never intended his protest candidacy to challenge Clinton as a number two hit on the national charts. No, we might blame the Democrat Machine—pronouns in use: one, she, neither, hers, few—for the odd environment that has produced a shallow pool of hapless alternatives, many of whom demonstrate little or no history as actual Democrats. (I speak of Sanders, Chafee, and Webb.) Before any of the faithful gets snotty with me, Hey, I have voted five times for Clintons, plural, and will again, except I envision the future with trepidation. While the Democrats bank on a career politician, the Grand Old Party of No—pronouns in use: several, his, whomever, he, nothing—appears capable of nominating a renegade anti-politician, with dynastic careerists like the flabby Jeb Bush twisting on a squeaky spit. Hillary projects much relish in debating a candidate like Donald Trump, but if the Democrats intend to counter a rock-star insurgent with a dynastic careerist of their own, one wonders if Biden—potentially more likeable and plenty experienced as a sitting Vice President—wouldn’t make better sense. In the end, Biden has decided to holler from the sidelines, rather than submit to the grind, which might have hacked his fundamental good nature to pieces. Democrats advance toward the primary season with a semi-controversial, lukewarm, somewhat wounded, but widely known candidate, whose own tent-broadening capability remains uncertain. A little more than a year away, the general election might feature a contest between two polarizing forces: a trash-talking (“you’re fired!”) real estate tycoon and a carefully-scripted second-timer, who’ll try to channel the best moments from her tenures as First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State. The Republicans know who they’ll face. They can change their minds yet, and the competition will intensify, especially as the establishment scrutinizes the saggy numbers for many of its darlings. We Democrats on the other hand only have one set of keys, and if we lose them, there won’t be any neighbor on whose door we can knock, just the gaseous wind of a rancid Republican winter: one that denies climate change, to boot.


complaint week 2015 editorial schedule
October 26: The Democrat Machine