Thursday, April 2, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH THE G.O.P. OPERATIVE ENGAGED TO EVALUATE THE BEST FEATURES OF THE ANTI-DUKAKIS CAMPAIGN AS PART OF THE ANTICIPATED EFFORT TO DEFEAT HILLARY CLINTON.




You say “Hillary”? I say: Helmet.
Imagine: we don’t even need a tank: we
gift-wrap one of those Kaiser Wilhelm dealies
w/ the pointy boner on top & post it
(first class) c/o Hillary for President.
It has GPS. She wears it to Whole Foods.
Our guy snaps the photo; cue the womp-womp.
She could attract the helmet vote but
polling has us comfy w/ likely helmet voters.
Strategy two? Photoshop Dukakis onto
the YouTube video of a bum crapping
the floor in 7-11 & a week later superimpose
Hillary crapping a Sheetz in Benghazi.
Clearly: a Big Gulp for any swing voter.


2 comments:

Heather Fuller said...

If I wasn't such a vain person, I'd admit I peed myself reading this. Hail not the Chief. Hail poetic intrepidness.

DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

I've always thought that a pay-bathroom business could be called Pees and Queues. Except the order suggests that folks'd be peeing themselves in the queue. Ah, well.

In all seriousness, I'm grateful for your kind words and for your readership herein. Great reading last night! It was high times & the hooligans were there!

------------------BA